Source: SNAPPA
Everything you wish you'd forgotten about England's loss to Italy in the World Cup
England take on Italy in Turin tomorrow – but we’re still not over the scars from the last time the two sides met.
So, to get us in the spirit for the friendly against the Azzurri, what better way than to relive the pain of that 2-1 loss in Brazil? Every last second of it.
Here’s everything you wish you couldn’t remember about that game…
The heat of Manaus
The Arena de Amazonia in Manaus, where English dreams go to die (Adam Davy/PA)
We all spent months familiarising ourselves with the climatic conditions of Manaus because it seemed important. In short: very hot and very humid.
Raheem Sterling definitely scored
PHOTO: @azzurri keeper Sirigu was well beaten by @sterling31's early shot -but it went inches wide #ENG #ITA #3Lions pic.twitter.com/xhbSkoMTrn
— England (@england) June 14, 2014
Or at least it seemed that way. Sterling’s early shot actually hit the side netting, but everyone – everyone! – thought it was in.
RT if you also jumped off the sofa…
— Jake Humphrey (@mrjakehumphrey) June 14, 2014
Oh god, I celebrated. I had such an unblemished record.
— Football Clichés (@FootballCliches) June 14, 2014
Ha ha the pub just went mental thinking that was a goal.
— Graeme Swann (@Swannyg66) June 14, 2014
Phil Neville was not the one
The second best Neville (Nigel French/EMPICS)
It was a big moment – the opening match of England’s World Cup campaign. Everyone was excited – everyone except Phil Neville.
The BBC co-commentator’s monotone was the one thing more depressing than what was happening on the pitch.
Phil Neville sounds like he's spent the day listening to Joy Division records with Mark Lawrenson.
— Toby Fair (@TopTopPundit) June 14, 2014
Phil Neville sounds like a Dignitas satnav.
— Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) June 14, 2014
Phil "the voice" Neville
— simon stephens (@StephensSimon) June 14, 2014
There was hope, briefly
Daneil Sturridge dances after scoring against Italy (Themba Hadebe/AP)
England were 1-0 down after 35 minutes, but equalised almost immediately through Daniel Sturridge, and he danced the dance of optimism. The Liverpool striker was good back then.
Then there was no hope
Mario Balotelli: just super enough to beat England (Marcio Jose Sanchez/AP)
Mario Balotelli put Italy 2-1 up five minutes into the second half. Yes, Mario Balotelli scored an actual goal. The Liverpool striker was good back then.
That Wayne Rooney corner
Wayne Rooney corner kick http://t.co/7rMceHgK4i
— FutGest (@FutGest) June 15, 2014
It was the sort of thing that, when it happens, make commentators say: “That just about sums up England’s day.” And it pretty much did.
Joe Hart did a hilarious and massive swear
Even this video – which contains the England stopper screaming the second worst of all the words – couldn’t cheer us up at the time because it didn’t surface until the following day. Worse luck.
Mario Balotelli wanted a kiss from the Queen
If we beat Costa Rica i want a kiss,obviously on the cheek, from the UK Queen.😂😂😂.
— Mario Balotelli (@FinallyMario) June 19, 2014
Not technically from the England-Italy game, but still part of the whole sorry debacle – shortly after England lost to Uruguay, leaving them needing Italy to beat Costa Rica to stay in the tournament, Super Mario declared he wanted a kiss from the Queen if his team did the business.
Italy lost. No kiss from Her Madge was forthcoming. Not that we’ve seen, anyway.
Gary Lineker was an Italy fan
Gary Lineker was an Italy fan – as were we all (Screenshot/BBC One)
Again from that Italy-Costa Rica game, when Lineker took to the airwaves wearing an Azzurri shirt. Again, Italy lost.
Andrea Pirlo’s damning verdict
Stevie G and Andi P (Pirlo, not Peters) (Mike Egerton/PA)
The Italy playmaker was reported to have said: “Raheem Sterling was the only English player to cause me problems, very talented.” Ah, but that was before the halcyon days of Harry Kane. Things are different now…