Source: Telegraph
Jeff Stelling's head turned as Hartlepool play on ITV
But on Saturday Hartlepool entertained West Ham in the fourth round of the FA Cup – live on ITV.[LNB]So Stelling was holed up in the Sky studio for his regular show, Soccer Saturday, with his gaggle of gormless ex-footballers. Who could blame him for ignoring the banalities of Paul Merson ("I dunno Jeff, time will tell…") to steal glances at a telly showing Hartlepool on ITV?[LNB]Stelling is obsessed with the 'Pools'. Once when they conceded he was filmed silently swearing. When winger James Brown scored, Stelling whipped out a miniature model of the eponymous soul singer and jived to I Feel Good.[LNB]Post Des Lynam, Stelling has been the only genuinely premiership class football presenter, the Kaka in a league of cack. While Gary Lineker's jocularity can often seem scripted, Stelling is a natural. [LNB]When Guylain Ndumbu-Nsungu scored for Sheffield Wednesday, Stelling remarked drily: "Local boy makes good". When Total Network Solutions won, he said: "They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight".[LNB]True, he seems a tad old school, especially now he is the (rather sheepish) compere of Countdown. On Saturday he said "my Mrs could have scored that": presenters have been executed in Media Guardian for less. [LNB]But he does know his onion bags. He calls Hamilton Academical striker Kenny Deuchar "the good doctor"; Deuchar is a qualified doctor, but not a lot of pundits know that.[LNB]There was much banter on Sky when Charlie Nicholas claimed Stelling had bet on the Hammers thumping Hartlepool 4-1. [LNB]It was a rare highlight in the hugely popular yet ludicrous show on which ex-players describe live action on monitors viewers cannot see. They combine the vision of Stevie Wonder with the silky verbal touches of John Prescott. Mind you, turn on Setanta and this suddenly looks classy.[LNB]Stelling was a model professional as he announced, through gritted gnashers, West Ham goals going in at Victoria Park. [LNB]Only when the Hammers won a dubious penalty did he allow himself a "it was a yard outside the box!" But he recovered swiftly: "Ah well, let's go back to Chelsea…" [LNB]ITV showed us West Ham's changing room and there was no space for the team's video editor, chef, masseuse, or probably even their beauty therapist. [LNB]Coverage was hardly enhanced by analysis from Alan Curbishley, who renders Alistair Darling a Stephen Fry of urbane intelligence. Among Curb's Kantian insights yesterday: "I think when you are in the draw there is still something to play for". Thanks, Alan.[LNB]The match was a breeze for the Prem boys. Gianfranco Zola could have stumbled somewhere cold and northern, but his team played it perfectly. Weirdly, the more West Ham fall into debt, the more creditable their football becomes.[LNB]What do you think, Jeff? Jeff? [LNB]
