Permanently crocked Tottenham defender Ledley King has been named in Fabio Capello's England squad to face Slovakia and Ukraine next week. Sportsmail understands that a spot of light swimming is the only training King, who is brilliant when he plays, is able to undertake at Spurs, so quite how the 28-year-old will be filling his time on international duty this week, one can only guess. And that's exactly what we've done. Here, Mark Lawford (right) takes a tongue-in-cheek look at Ledley's England week.
Well I've just got the call and I'm back in the England squad. I'm chuffed.
Apart from not being able to walk after playing against Chelsea at the weekend, I'm in great shape.
I don't expect I'll get full mobility back until Tuesday, possibly Wednesday, but that won't affect my preparations for the big games against Slovakia and Ukraine.
Head for heights: Tottenham's Ledley King (top) beats competes with Chelsea's Didier Drogba to a header during Spurs' 1-0 win against Chelsea
That's because I shall prepare for international week just like any other week - I have no choice. My knees won't let me.
I just hope Mr Capello knows I cannot actually train and accepts my note from Mr Redknapp excusing me from physical exertions until matchday.
Anyway, I won't waste my time. I always have plenty to do to fill my day and I'm happy to offer you extracts from my never-to-be-written diary from the weekend and my agenda planner for the rest of the week.
SATURDAYIt's great now that we're out all the cups because we only play one game a week and I can manage that.
Helped beat Chelsea then went straight into an ice bath for an hour to help heal the bumps and bruises. Followed this with a sauna, massage, shower and hot bath where I scalded myself.
Caught a bit of Ant 'n' Dec - the little one is funny, isn't he? - but avoided Casualty. Wound down with a little bit of jazz and a Martini but suffered an injury when I tripped over the swizzle stick and had to call out Dr Legg to put me right.