Source: Daily_Mail
Jermain Defoe: I'm playing for my brother's memory
Jermain Defoe knew something was wrong when Harry Redknapp informed him that his mother was waiting in the car park. But it was when he saw the look on her face that he realised just how serious the situation had become.
It was a look that said it doesn't actually get any worse. A look that said he was about to lose his half-brother. Jade Defoe, at 26 the same age as Jermain, had been in intensive care since suffering head injuries in an alleged attack in Leytonstone last April.
'When I saw my Mum I knew straight away,' he said. ' "I think he's only got two hours to live", she told me. So I got myself to the hospital. Just to be there for him. We were close. Sometimes it was difficult to see that much of each other. He was in the music industry and I was playing my football, always travelling. He was never a footballer. He tried to be! But he had his music.
'We're a close family - I've got tattoos on my arms for my Nan, my Mum and my brother - and when we heard the news you can imagine what it felt like.'
VIDEO: Defoe on England...
It was a Friday, the day before his club Tottenham were due to play Manchester United, but manager Redknapp told Defoe to stay with his family.
'I missed the game,' he said, 'so I could be there with him, until the end. It was crazy. All the family were there, as well as his close friends.
'I'd lost my Nan the year before. But it was strange, looking at my brother. He was 26 years old. You don't expect to see that. When people die it's easier to understand when they're ill and you can prepare yourself.
'You know it's going to happen at some time, but when it's like that, when they're so young, and you just get the phone call . . . I actually sat down with my cousin recently and said that the last year has been really difficult.'
Defoe says the experience has affected the way he approaches his football. 'I think it has probably changed me as a person,' he said. 'And football becomes the only place where you can get away from everything.
'You focus on your football when you're on the pitch. It's when you're off the pitch you think about things. The reason you play, get on with it and do so well, is because that's where you get your peace. I just want to keep my head strong and enjoy my football now.'
He has been terrific. Four goals in four Barclays Premier League games for Tottenham. Two goals for England against Holland last month. Impressive enough, it seems, to force Fabio Capello into thinking he might just start him alongside Wayne Rooney in Saturday's friendly against Slovenia. After all, he has now scored seven goals for England since Capello took charge of the national team.
'It's been good,' Defoe said. 'I've worked really hard in pre-season. I've done all my work in the gym. I've done the running and I felt sharp in the pre-season games.
'I took it into the Holland game and it was great to come on and make an impact so early on. I'm just enjoying my football at the minute. The club are doing well, I'm playing with good players and I'm feeling really sharp.'
Jermain Defoe
In the spotlight: Defoe talks candidly about his ups and downs this year
So much so, it seems, that he might now have seen off Michael Owen as a threat to his England place.
'All that bothers me a little bit,' he said. 'It's like if my name gets mentioned Michael Owen's got to get mentioned as well.
'That's sometimes frustrating, to be honest, because, at the end of the day, Michael is a great player and he's shown that over the years. And I'd like to think that at some point in the future we'd both be in the squad together.
'It's not that if I'm in the squad he's not, or that if he's in the squad I'm not. It would be nice to get away from that because he's a good player and I just want to focus on myself and make sure I get into the squad.'
After the crushing disappointment of the past, he is desperate to be part of Capello's World Cup plans in South Africa next summer.
In 2006 he travelled with the England squad to Germany as cover for the injured Rooney only to be sent home before the tournament had begun.
'I get reminded by everyone of that,' he said.
'I'll never forget it. It seems like yesterday, it's so clear in my mind. It was difficult because I actually travelled with the squad to Germany and then I had to go home. It was really hard but I suppose it made me stronger. I want to make sure I play this time round.
'It was a different situation in 2004 because it was the first season that I had got into the squad. I wasn't expecting to actually go to the European Championship and it was nice to be involved. Nice to travel and train with them before going home that time, too.'
Losing out in 2006 to Theo Walcott is something that hurt him, though. 'It wasn't Theo's fault,' he said. 'The manager picks the team. But hopefully he (Sven Goran Eriksson) is watching the games now.
'It's only now that I feel I'm getting a fair chance to prove myself at international level. With the current manager I've featured in a lot of the games. And even when I haven't started I've come on and played the whole second half.
'That's getting a fair opportunity. You've got an entire half to show what you can do instead of 10 or 15 minutes. Sometimes in 10 or 15 minutes you might not touch the ball, even when you're winning. I'm getting a fair chance now and hopefully I'm showing what I can do.'
After the Holland game his mother was on the phone in tears. For Defoe, and his family, his success is clearly forming part of the healing process.
