Grumbles and the Rangers: Welcome to the pointless pre-season.

14 July 2011 21:40
For many, summer is a time of rest and relaxation. The mind turns to holidays: sitting in the sun reading paperbacks and moaning about mosquitoes, fellow Brits, rude locals or simply lamenting the latest failed attempt to match Fred Perry. The break from one season to the next has felt longer than usual with the absence of the World Cup or European Championship, but for the true addicts it never really ends: there was the under 21 tournament, then the Split-Arse World Cup and now the Copa América. And now, of course, for those only interested in club football, we enjoy the traditional kick-abouts which make up pre-season. Hands up: I haven’t watched a single second of any of the games so far, and as I’m not off across the Irish Sea or away to Blackpool on a traditional booze-fest during the Glesga Fair, that will remain the case. I admire those who were away in Germany, and can see the attraction for some in the next two matches, but they are, in my opinion, largely pointless. But despite the fact we’ve yet to get a sniff of a truly competitive game or match that matters there’s already brewing a steady storm of criticism and metrosexual moaning. The disappointment with results is only sensible up to a point as pre-season is, largely, merely about building up fitness and gradually getting sharp and we are still a few games away from having to concern ourselves with scorelines and bashing the panic button despite the advice of our HHGTTG guides. The frustration with the lack of new faces is more credible but also encourages those for whom misery is the only effective form of life; some of the comments and the rush to ring the cloister bell of the Ibrox TARDIS take on a definite whiff of masochism. Local man bemoans lack of tie choice at megastore. Just as one tries one’s best to avoid conversation with the mangled jakey know-it-all in the pub so one should ignore these hysterical voices and typists: but there’s some simple arithmetic of which we all have to be aware. Although it’s only a few months in the past last season already seems far, far away; what with the exit of Walter Smith and the new faces behind the scenes at the Club. Our loan signings have gone back to England or abroad (and perhaps off to join the Foreign Legion if El Hadji Diouf hype is to be extended) and as yet we have only one new face. Even allowing for the likelihood that other youngsters will be promoted over the season we are clearly down on numbers and that’s before we move toward the promised and expected (modest) additions to the squad indicated by our new owner and manager. We are less than two weeks from our first European tie and clearly it would be nice to have one or two more in to say hola to our new Spanish friend, Ortiz. It’s just over a week until the season-opener against Hearts – shin-pads at the ready – and Ally McCoist told us today on Rangers TV that he’d like to see “three or four” signings before that SPL game. All of which brings us to one of the genuine areas for concern this close-season: the public utterances of the Manager and general attitude expressed through the official Club outlets. In short: it’s beginning to border on the embarrassing. We want player X, we’re interested in player Y, we’re talking to player Z, and we hope to announce this or that in 48hrs and so on and on. Like prisoners starved of daylight released into the bright sunshine of liberty we’ve found it a little unsettling to be presented with this level of openness and direct outpourings after a number of years of communication breakdown. Careful what you wish for? More like culture shock. But one thing remains true at time of writing: the only signing to date has been a man of whom we knew nothing until the day he spilled off a budget airline in Scotland after being briefly interviewed by the in-laws of a FF poster! There’s a real danger that by constantly publicising interest – in some cases as good as tapping up players – and by publishing interviews where our own players are pleading for others under contract to join us, the Club risks mass disappointment and feeds the insecurities of the mad brigade when it all comes (so far) to nothing. The level of opening bids for players may reflect as much a willingness to avoid being ripped off as a genuine awareness of limited funds for squad players but the time to judge our performance in the market will be when the window closes – past events should remind people that this has often meant red faces all round for those crying ‘crisis’ in July. Still, as the limited options available in warm-up games amply demonstrate, we could do without any further injuries and a generous European draw this Friday. Last season was ultimately a very successful one and deservedly so. You may, however, recall that events off the pitch were often subject to more reporting than those between the lines. One doesn’t have to read between them to see that double standards are alive and well this summer: witness the farce element to the proceedings in Stirling – no arrests, and a totally erroneous suggestion that Police wanted to call off the game due to sectarian singing proven to be more than a little ‘Lost in Translation’ yet still reported as fact – and compare and contrast with the recording of the ongoing rampage through the convict states of the Southern Hemisphere. Local OZ Police target innocent. It beggars belief that any other SPL club could play two games in huge English-speaking cities and, after the arrest count rose to more than two dozen, find that the meagre home media coverage of such criminality has been turned into a little joke about the Twitter account of the latest force compelled to turn away drunks and throw into the cells the detritus and demented hobos. It seems reasonable to wonder how many arrests would make it newsworthy for STV or the BBC? Or does what happens in the magical world of Oz with its Emerald Cities not matter so long as the slippers are clicked and all return home on time? One will watch with interest should any half-cut bampots wander on to the pitch in Ulster or bounce harmlessly around the sand in Blackpool. Once those fixtures are out of the way it is time for the real action to begin: Another year of madness, controversy and the occasional football match. I can’t wait. Our new regime deserves time to bed in but they know that at Rangers that’s not always as easy as it sounds. Let’s hope that, a few weeks from now, we’re through to the CL proper and, squad bolstered, off to a good start on the highway to 55.

Source: FOOTYMAD