Harry Redknapp has washed his hands of all involvement in QPR's transfer negotiations because of the 'gang warfare' among agents which he compared to Glasgow's infamous 'Ice Cream Wars'.
Redknapp has been largely frustrated in his bid to sign new players this month, with Tal Ben-Haim and Loic Remy the only two fresh faces to arrive at the west London club during the transfer window.
Redknapp felt a large part of the problem for QPR has been the actions of football agents, who are scrapping to get the biggest pay day possible before the window shuts. "This transfer window, I have never seen anything like it. Every agent seems to be trying to screw each other," the QPR boss said ahead of Tuesday's game against Manchester City.
Although Redknapp pipped Newcastle to the signing of Remy, he lost out in his bid to sign Yann M'Vila, who moved to Rubin Kazan, and Moussa Sissoko, who looks set to move to St James' Park. The Rangers boss also sounded pessimistic about the prospect of signing targets Rolando, Peter Odemwingie, Etienne Capoue and Mohamed Diame before Thursday's 11pm deadline.
"It's like gang warfare out there - it's scary. If you're trying to get a player another agent will try to scupper that deal if he's not involved in it to try to get you to have one of his. It's unreal, unbelievable. They're all fighting for big money - that's the problem."
There was a big smile across his face when he compared the situation to the so-called Ice Cream Wars - a deadly 1980s turf war that broke out between rival gangs in Glasgow who used to sell drugs and stolen goods from inside ice cream vans.
"It's a bit like ice-cream sellers in Glasgow," said Redknapp, speaking of the 1980s conflict which cost six lives. "If someone has nicked their pitch, someone's gonna' shoot them or something!
"It's not just the person who deals with the players, it's dealing with the person who controls the player, who wants to be in on the deal as well. I have left it to the chairman, it was doing my head in. It's crazy."
The Rs boss thinks players are also out to get more than their fair share this month. M'Vila, a tough-tackling France international, has been coveted by several Premier League teams, but his decision to move to Russia, where huge wages are on offer, dismayed the QPR boss.
"It was money in the end, that was the key," said Redknapp. "I think this would have been the best move for him - to come and play in the Premier League. He was up for coming here and it looked like we had him, but they (Rubin Kazan) came in late and blew us out of the water with the money they offered him.