Anything Kevin Phillips can do, Alan Shearer can do better.
That was the message from St James' Park as Shearer confirmed his return to form with a stunning five-goal haul to eclipse the feat of Sunderland's super striker 24 hours earlier.
The England captain gave new manager Bobby Robson the perfect homecoming present as he collected a hat-trick within 11 first-half minutes, and then added two more after the break with United running riot.
United could not have wished for more as manager Bobby Robson arrived at St James's Park for his first game in charge determined to end a run of 14 Premiership games without victory.
If anything, his side were not as smooth as they had been in Sofia four days earlier, but to say their finishing was clinical would be an understatement.
Aaron Hughes set the ball rolling after just 12 minutes, but it was Shearer's first-half hat-trick within the space of 11 minutes, largely thanks to the superb Kieron Dyer, which killed the game off.
Dyer got his reward with a fifth just after the break, and Speed made it six 12 minutes from time.
But Shearer was left to deliver the coup de grace with two more in the last nine minutes to complete a remarkable afternoon on Tyneside.
Robson could hardly have written a more appealing script himself if he had tried as United took complete control after an admittedly shaky start.
Wednesday, looking far more accomplished than their desperate league position suggests, had already caused problems when Andy Booth ran on to Alain Goma's loose header back to keeper Steve Harper and had a goal disallowed for offside after Harper had miskicked horribly.
But Hughes, in for the suspended Nikos Dabizas, marked his return to first-team action when, with 12 minutes gone, he arrived with perfect timing to meet Dyer's cross from the left and send a powerful header past Kevin Pressman.
Dyer, the hero of Thursday night's 2-0 UEFA Cup win in Sofia, was again to play a major role from his free position just behind the front two.
But it was not until Booth had left the field covered in blood after a clash of heads with Goma, with the unsettled Benito Carbone replacing him, that the fireworks began in earnest.
With 31 minutes gone, Nolberto Solano and Temuri Ketsbaia worked a short corner on the left, and when the Peruvian crossed low into the box, Shearer nonchalantly flicked the ball past Pressman with the outside of his right foot to make it 2-0.
It was three two minutes later when defender Emerson Thome was rather harshly adjudged to have handled as Warren Barton tried to play the ball across and Shearer stepped up to smash the penalty home.
Shearer completed his hat-trick three minutes before the break, and it was the brilliant Dyer who was again the architect.
Ketsbaia set the former Ipswich winger away down the left and his curling cross was perfect for Shearer to burst between Thome and Ian Nolan to fire home.
It could have been worse for Wednesday four minutes into injury time when Speed rose to meet Solano's free-kick unopposed but glanced his effort wide.
But if Wednesday thought the storm had abated, they were disabused of the notion within two minutes of the restart when Newcastle's run of good luck continued.
Shearer played Speed into the box, and although he appeared to handle, he was allowed to get in a weak shot which Pressman scrambled away.
But Shearer was on hand to head back into the middle for Dyer to nip in and nudge it home from close range
However, the second half unfolded as something of an anti-climax as United continued to dominate but struggled to create clear chances.
There was a scare for the home side when Dyer limped off after clashing with Des Walker, but Paul Robinson's arrival was more precautionary than anything else.
Carbone shot from all of 45 yards in desperation on 70 minutes as he spotted Harper off his line, but failed to find the right elevation or direction.
But the scoreline reached 6-0 12 minutes from time when Speed headed home Solano's corner.
Newcastle threatened to run riot as the seconds ticked away and Shearer made it seven three minutes later when Pressman could only parry Solano's free-kick to the striker was first to react to punch a low drive home from the edge of the box.
Robinson earned his side a second penalty five minutes from time when he was brought down by Haslam, but although he tried to persuade Shearer to let him take it, the captain was having none of it and again thumped the ball past the punch-drunk Pressman
Source: Newcastle United Mad