Celtic clinched the Clydesdale Bank Premier League title at Kilmarnock yesterday to gift our 6ft 7" stopper a medal, but it was as shallow as Cambridge's Boat Race win that ended in farce on the Thames.
Officially known as the "Worst League In The World" because only TWO clubs have won the Scottish title since 1985 - 27 YEARS AGO - the competition has gone from a "two horse race" to ... well, not even a competition!
Rangers had a bag-full of points deducted; are expecting the receivers to move in and take the TV and the cat; and the rest of Scotland couldn't put together a team to compete in the Blue Square Premier.
In the last 27 years 7 different clubs have won the English league; 6 in Germany; 7 in Italy; 8 in France; and 5 in Spain.
Neil Lennon - remember him - says the win puts him "amongst the giants in the game".
What a knob!
Remember when he "head-butted" Alan Shearer's boot and reported the incident to the FA?
To jog the memory and prove the GOALden Boy was simply stepping over Lennon:
THE DAILY MIRROR MAY 13 1998
ALAN SHEARER breathed a sigh of relief yesterday after a Football Association commission found him not guilty of deliberately kicking Leicester City's Neil Lennon in the face. A case that became curiously complex reached a predictable conclusion after influential figures, including the alleged victim himself and the chief executive of the Professional Footballers' Association, Gordon Taylor, formed a queue to give evidence on the England captain's behalf. Even Gary Lineker, football's original Mr Clean and a Leicester City supporter, offered to speak for his successor as England's most effective striker.
A three-man commission decided after the personal hearing that the player himself requested that the incident was provoked by a "genuine attempt to free himself" by Shearer.
In a statement, the FA said: "Gordon Taylor represented Alan Shearer and Neil Lennon was called as a witness in his defence. Statements were also heard from referee Martin Bodenham and assistant referee Alan Kaye. The three man FA commission of Geoff Thompson FA vice-chair, Barry Bright and Ian Stott heard the case and found it not proven.
"In reaching its decision the commission accepted that the incident was initially caused by Neil Lennon pulling at the shirt of Alan Shearer turning round and trapping his leg. The commission further accepted that the alleged incident of Alan Shearer swinging out with his left leg was a genuine attempt to free himself."
Shearer, who had proclaimed his innocence all along, was delighted to have cleared his name and looked forward to Saturday's Cup final for Newcastle against Arsenal and the countdown to the World Cup, which starts next Monday.
"I would like to thank the PFA for representing me and Neil Lennon for giving evidence on my behalf," he said after the case. "I spoke to Gordon Taylor about this matter for the first time after last Sunday's game at Blackburn and was convinced that with his sense of integrity and fairness, he was the right man to put my case.
"I am pleased to put the record straight and in doing so clear my name. I was always confident that I would."
Shearer has such a high, clean-cut reputation, underlined by two Newcastle directors allegedly referring to him as "Mary Poppins", that there was talk of a witch-hunt to undermine him.
However, a guilty verdict looked unlikely once Glenn Hoddle had expressed strong support for Shearer and the England coach also made a plea for the case to be settled before his captain became involved in final preparations for the World Cup finals in France.