Source: Daily_Mail
Ash Wednesday: Smokin' Joe Kinnear and his muddled mind just can't stop making gaffes
Joe Kinnear and Hull boss Phil Brown clash angrily earlier this month: Kinnear's antics have become an unlikely highlight of the season
Kinnear should never have been put in the position of course, but someone had to get him off the bar stool in the Orange Tree Pub near his home in Totteridge, north London.
More from Ash Wednesday... ASH WEDNESDAY: Harry's four-letter blast at his Spurs flops as Tottenham stars go AWOL in relegation battle 13/01/09 ASH WEDNESDAY: Adams can count himself lucky after schoolboy error on Defoe 06/01/09 ASH WEDNESDAY: Shameful abuse of Sol Campbell has gone on long enough 16/12/08 ASH WEDNESDAY: Ince short of common sense and his ludicrous 'vendetta' claims could be last straw for Blackburn's anxious directors 09/12/08 ASH WEDNESDAY: He's been subbed 15 times already - it's time to give Robbie a break Rafa 02/12/08 ASH WEDNESDAY: Could this be the season that Arsenal's history boys begin to regret their past mistakes? 25/11/08 ASH WEDNESDAY: Agbonlahor shouldn't be in Germany after choosing the beach over international duty - but England just can't resist 18/11/08 ASH WEDNESDAY: Beautiful Blackburn help Jansen ride with the big boys again 11/11/08 VIEW FULL ARCHIVE
That, if you recall, is the public house that Smokin' Joe has never been into in his life.
(Quote: 'I have never been in the Orange Tree in my life'), which came as something of a shock to the regulars, who were forced to order another bottle of Domaine de Vedihan when they heard that back in October.
Smokin' Joe was at it again this weekened, his mind muddled like some of the sozzled regulars down at the Orange Tree and spiriting in some statistics to suit his increasingly desperate cause.
After Newcastle's latest savaging, Smokin' Joe claimed that he has never once played the same team back to back since he replaced The Messiah. Oooh, hang on a minute, hang on, hang on ....
Newcastle v Manchester City, Oct 20: Given; Beye, Taylor, Coloccini, Bassong, Geremi, Guthrie, Butt, Duff, Martins, Ameobi.
Sunderland v Newcastle, Oct 25: Given, Beye, Taylor, Coloccini, Bassong, Geremi, Guthrie, Butt, Duff, Martins, Ameobi.
Oh, Joe, you little tinker. Another one? Oh, go on then, just for good measure.
Kinnear has had trouble getting his facts right during another turbulent season for Newcastle
Apparently he had to play four central defenders in his first few games as manager, although quite what that had to do with the tonking they got at Ewood Park last Saturday is anyone's guess.
Before he says 'I never said that', here is the quote in full: 'When I first came here we had four centre halves - and all four had to play. We had no full backs.'
Really?
First up, the 2-2 draw at Everton where the back four consisted of Steven Taylor playing (and scoring) out of position at right back; Fabricio Coloccini and Claudio Cacapa in the centre of defence; and left back Jose Enrique playing .... left back.
A slip of that muddled mind again, so let's give Smokin' Joe another chance at this irritating game. How about his very next match, the 2-2 draw at home to Manchester City.
Right back Habib Beye played - yep - right back, Coloccini and Taylor played centre half and Sebastien Bassong, schooled as a left back at the famous France academy in Clairefontaine, played left back.
Next stop for Smokin' Joe on Saturday evening was The Messiah, a soft target considering he is now serving cups of coffee again at his ludicrous venture in Glasgow, appropriately named the Soccer Circus.
Kinnear forgot to mention that Newcastle were 11th when The Messiah threw his tantrum, having secured a point at Manchester United on the opening day of the season and a narrow win over Bolton.
What have I done to deserve this? Kevin Keegan has become Kinnear's latest target
They were 19th when he replaced Chris Hughton, promising owner Mike Ashley: 'Don't worry, I'll get you out of this.'
Without a win in the Premier League since December 21, he might just be right. For a change.
Howard Kendall would never have achieved his memorable success with Everton had he been sacked in 1984
Howard Kendall was seconds from the sack in January 1984, hanging on to his job as manager of Everton when they trailed Oxford United in the League Cup.
Then Adrian Heath scored in the last minute of the match to force a replay, Kendall was given a stay of execution and they went on to reach the final of the League Cup (losing to Liverpool in a replay), winning the FA Cup two months later and lifting the League title and European Cup Winners' Cup the following season.
Inchy's goal was a turning point for Kendall and in years to come, Frank Lampard's similar exploits for Chelsea last Saturday may be remembered in much the same way.
The firing squad, namely director Eugene Tenenbaum, made a surprise visit to watch the team in the FA Cup at Southend last Wednesday, preparing to sack Luiz Felipe Scolari if they were beaten by the Shrimpers.
Frank Lampard could have saved Luis Felipe Scolari and turned round Chelsea's season with his dramatic late winner against Stoke
Scolari was heading the same way when Rory Delap put Stoke City in front on Saturday, but Juliano Belletti's equaliser and Lampard's dramatic strike saved their Brazilian boss.
Despite the wobble, they remain in the hunt for three trophies and the celebrations which followed Lampard's winner may just steer them back on course.
