Source: Daily_Mail
Des Kelly: You don't ask for respect... you demand it
When you pick up the newspapers on April Fool's Day, it pays to sift through the material with a little more care than usual to root out the fact from fiction. It's not always a straightforward exercise. [LNB]Try it for yourself. Scan these stories from Friday and see if you can distinguish the reality from imaginative fakes. [LNB] Unacceptable face of football: but is the Premier League clampdown just lip service?[LNB]True or false: [LNB]a) Sir Alex Ferguson has been asked to become life president of the Referees' Association. [LNB]b) The boss of one of the world's leading banks is warning footballers to avoid excessive and embarrassing behaviour. [LNB]c) Avram Grant believes West Ham would be challenging for Europe but for poor officiating. [LNB]d) The Premier League plan to ask managers and players to stop abusing referees.[LNB] If you assumed all four were worthy of a chuckle, I agree, although the last three were not supposed to be funny at all. A banker at Standard Chartered really did worry out loud that a player like Andy Carroll might damage the public image of his business. As if that could happen at a time in history when even Colonel Gaddafi has a better reputation than most bankers. [LNB]Follow Des Kelly on Twitter www.twitter.com/DesKelly[LNB]Hammers manager Grant wasn't sitting on awhoopee cushion either when he genuinely claimed that referees are responsible for his club's relegation plight. 'Without them, we'd be in seventh place,' he said, as everybody present to hear this tosh resistedthe urge to push a custard pie in his face. [LNB]But the most troubling slapstick of all was provided by the headlines trailing a 'new crackdown' on discipline to protect referees. We've reached the time of year again when football wrings its hands and declares 'something must be done, by someone. Only not right now, as that might be a little bit awkward but soon, though. Just you wait and see.' [LNB]Yes, the Premier League came out all PRs blazing (shouldn't that be 'guns blazing' - Ed) to demand managers stop haranguing officials, while players must quit reacting to decisions like yobs jostling one another at city centre taxi ranks at closing time, although I have paraphrased the position somewhat. [LNB]And if they don't obey? Well, that's where it gets tricky. The Premier League have no actual power to impose penalties on clubs for their misbehaviour. That responsibility lies with the Football Association, and since they have pretty much done sod all to enforce their own Respect campaign at the top of the football pyramid since its inception, the omens are far from encouraging.[LNB] Root cause: The FA have failed to enforce their Respect campaign, meaning players get away with ref abuse [LNB] To be fair to Richard Scudamore and the league, there is no arguing with the over-arching message. Officials are being abused and it is right that leading figures should speak out. But the trouble is this has all been said before and made no difference once a few weeks of fuss died away. [LNB]So, when Scudamore presented his Powerpoint slides to the clubs, popping key words up on the screen, such as 'Unacceptable', 'Change' and ending with an exhortation to 'Stick With It', a collection of executives from the top 20 clubs nodded their assent. Of course they did. There was no rule change on the table, no binding agreement, no charter - just another woolly promise to try to behave a little better. [LNB]And those vague proposals were endorsed with their fingers crossed and a couple of unsaid provisos added - as long as it's not our club and as long as it's not our players. [LNB]That's the way the Premier League works. It's not about moral standards; it's about market forces. The two are not compatible. No Premier League chief executive is going to demand action against his own club's stars. [LNB] More from Des Kelly... Des Kelly: Why England will NEVER be winners25/03/11 Des Kelly: Manchester City's maniac Mario Balotelli is no King Eric18/03/11 DES KELLY: One-eyed men, Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger, are blind to reality11/03/11 Des Kelly: Lunatics really have taken over the game - they must be stopped04/03/11 Des Kelly: Forget art, it's time for silver at Arsenal after all this time25/02/11 Des Kelly: This pair of greedy rats are shamed by Wembley ticket hike18/02/11 Des Kelly: We simply can't turn our backs on Newcastle's Barton11/02/11 Des Kelly: Aldridge shoots from the lip (but he's way off target this time)04/02/11 VIEW FULL ARCHIVE And if the FA started dishing out the kind of points deductions that would eradicate bad behaviour overnight, every single one of those suits would dash to the High Court to challenge the punishment, trampling the concept of Respect underfoot on the way. [LNB]Besides, what was unanimously agreed? Seeing they had been outflanked, both politically and in the publicity stakes, the FA had no choice but to give the Premier League a lukewarm welcome for stealing their show. But the League Managers Association decided to say nothing for now, and when they do they will be very careful not to commit to any position that brings them into conflict with their own bosses. There'll be the usual stuff about football being 'an emotional game', as if rugby league, rugby union, boxing and so on are not, and little else of consequence. [LNB]As for the players themselves, the PFA union chairman Clarke Carlisle said: 'If the guidelines are clear we will support them,' which is jolly decent of him. He added: 'They need to make sure there are no grey areas so players know where they stand.' Hopefully, they'll be standing at least five metres away from any referee and in silence, too, because the club captain is the only member of the team permitted to query decisions on the field. [LNB]But there is already enough in the rulebook to control footballers' behaviour without more tinkering, if only the referees and the FA had the balls to apply the laws.[LNB] So, for all the headlines and encouraging words, what is actually going to change? Football is generally played in a febrile atmosphere of constant cheating, be it stealing a yard or two at a throw-in, creeping forward at free-kicks, diving or time-wasting, with the whole display followed by howls of tribal protest and finger-pointing. [LNB]In that kind of environment any crackdown on discipline needs Draconian policing, not a hope that some indistinct and spurious 'agreement' might work.[LNB] Naturally, Sir Alex Ferguson will be at the centre of this debate and he has already expressed an opinion on Scudamore's PR initiative, suggesting the League's chief executive clearly has too much time on his hands. We can see how much weight he attaches to this 'initiative'.[LNB]Sporting Gold India's cricket World Cup semi-final victory... great news for the sport after a year tainted by allegations of Pakistani corruption[LNB] +++ Ghana's irrepressible army of fans at Wembley [LNB]+++ David Lloyd's cricket commentaries... colourful and eccentric contributions I've grown to appreciate[LNB] +++ The return of the Premier League this weekend... yes, even with all its bust-ups and fury. It's compelling stuff. [LNB]Interestingly, the Manchester United boss has been championing the cause of unfettered debate this week in the United States, the supposed land of the free. He made some cogent points on why he should be allowed to discuss the performance of referees. [LNB]But if he thinks America embraces this sort of dissent in sport, he is in for a shock. They don't pussyfoot about when dealing with these matters. After the Minnesota Vikings lost to Green Bay Packers in October, Vikings coach Brad Childress complained about some of the umpires' calls - and the NFL promptly hit him with a $35,000 fine 'for public criticism of officiating'. [LNB]If Ferguson ever tried to dodge his media duties, there would be no apologetic ?1,000-a-time slaps on the wrist, either. When the head coach of the Buffalo Bills, Marv Levy, skipped a press conference during Super Bowl week, he was given a $50,000 fine for his trouble. [LNB]American sports demand respect for their officials. They don't ask for it politely, pretty please, if you wouldn't mind. It is the foundation of what they do and written into detailed and comprehensive contracts and codes of behaviour. Those who cannot abide by the rules quite literally pay for their indiscipline, which is the way it should be here too.[LNB] Instead, FA and Premier League powerbrokers sit around tables, tut a little bit and hope some well-meant but ultimately empty words will somehow make the problem go away. Which is why it never will. [LNB] A couple of weeks ago on this page, I suggested Mario Balotelli was incurably stupid. It didn't take long to be presented with further evidence to support my carefully considered diagnosis. [LNB]Having sabotaged Manchester City's Europa League campaign with a dumb kung-fu tackle, the ?22m striker issued an 'apology' for the incident. This statement, probably knocked out by an agent and club PR officer and never seen by the player, claimed Balotelli wanted 'to show more consideration' and 'repay the manager who has shown so much faith in me'. [LNB] Not the sharpest tool in the penalty box: Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli (left)[LNB]Italy coach Cesare Prandelli took little note of inane pledges and left Balotelli out of his squad to give him time to 'think about his mistakes'. [LNB]So how did the penitent Balotelli, paid ?5m a year, spend his week of quiet contemplation? By throwing darts at members of the Manchester City youth team at the club's training ground and scuffling with the manager he wanted to repay. [LNB]The word idiot doesn't even begin to cover it. [LNB] Weekend VIP passes for the inaugural Indian Grand Prix in October will cost upwards of ?2,600. To put that into context, the average Indian employee would have to work for two-and-a-half years just to be able to afford one ticket. It's a perverse pricing structure. [LNB]A similar VIP pass for the Italian Grand Prix in Monza is cheaper than the packages sold in India. I can't wait to see how much general admission is when Bernie Ecclestone's circus parks its trucks on Indian soil for the first time. It looks like only Slumdog Millionaires need apply. [LNB] My vote for Football Writers' Association Footballer of the Year has been cast - and it went to Carlos Tevez. He has consistently been the difference for his club over seven months, despite a few recent weeks of relatively ordinary form. That warrants recognition. And if he wins, do you think there is a chance he might cheer up a bit?[LNB] Making the difference: Argentina ace Tevez has been City's best performer over the last seven months [LNB] Explore more:People: Alex Ferguson, Andy Carroll, Gaddafi, Bernie Ecclestone, Mario Balotelli, David Lloyd, Carlos Tevez Places: Italy, Ghana, India, America, Europe Organisations: Football Association, National Football League
