Source: Daily_Mail
That was the Sporting Week: Man City pull out the stops for Carlos Tevez
City pull out the stopsManchester City continue to bend over backwards to accommodate truculent star striker Carlos Tevez and have now told the Argentinian he does not need to report for pre-season training until Monday. The 17th of October. [LNB]The club are thought to have stolen a march on their wantaway forward in complying with his demands to be his nearer his family - by signing his two daughters up for kindergarten in Stockport.[LNB] Bending over backwards: Man City are happy to accommodate Carlos Tevez's needs[LNB]Tiger returnsTiger Woods makes his long-awaited return to professional golf after recovering from injury and sacking long-term caddie Steve Williams. [LNB]It is thought the pair's relationship was doomed as soon as disgraced former World No 1 Woods found out Williams had advised his angry wife Erin that a lofted nine iron was the ideal club with which to attack Tiger's four-wheel drive.[LNB] In the hot seat: Byron Bell (left) is caddying for Tiger Woods in Akron[LNB]Mario's moanBack at Eastlands - unless he has a say in it, of course - Mario Balotelli's careers advice officer has broken it to the young Italian that he might have to give up on his dream of becoming head of tourism for Manchester. [LNB]Attempting to calm the waters after Mario's comment to the Italian press 'I am not happy in Manchester, I don't like the city,' mentors claim his thoughts have been somewhat lostin translation, although the fact he was speaking in English at the time makes this excuse a little less credible.[LNB] Stick to the day job: Mario Balotelli (right)[LNB]The Manchester tourist board are now at something of a loss as to who will fill the high-profile head of department role after another candidate for the post - Mr C Tevez - is judged to have a desperately weak c.v. which includes the key phrase 'I'm never going back to Manchester, not even on holiday, not for anything.'[LNB]Insiders at Manchester City fear this may also mean Tevez is only available for away games.[LNB] Poster boy: But Tevez is sick of Manchester[LNB]Dozy Bell does it againFresh from his brilliant century at Trent Bridge, England batsman Ian Bell suffers a setback when he joins Ian Botham on his latest long distance charity walk but is run out leaving Land's End before the starter gun goes.[LNB]Joey turns poetJoey Barton is voted in as the Premier League's first-ever poet laureate, following his erudite literary references on Twitter.[LNB]Embracing his new role to the full, Barton is already believed to be working on his first epic poem, a high-brow piece provisionally entitled 'The day I pulled down me shorts and showed me bum to them Everton fans.'[LNB] Poet laureate: Joey Barton has taken to quoting philosophy on his Twitter account[LNB] Haughty literary critics are not surprised when they learn he is already 'right stuck' trying to think of something to rhyme with bum.[LNB]Plans are afoot to publish an opus of footballing literature guest edited by Barton following his tweeting of such diverse sources as George Orwell and Nietszche.[LNB]Already earmarked for inclusion are the Ron Atkinson footballing memoir 'Loading it into the first post' and his crime thriller 'The Reducer'. Sir Alex Ferguson's indispensable '101 uses for the club hairdryer' will also feature although editors are still in discussion over Harry Redknapp's Wall Street insider 'Playing the markets for cash' and John Terry's updated and revised social commentary 'Neighbours. everybody needs good neighbours'.[LNB] Poetry in motion: Chelsea and England captain John Terry[LNB] Manu's inEngland return to rugby action in the build up to the World Cup in New Zealand by selecting giant centre Manu Tuilagi. Winger Chris Ashton asks if someone else can stand next to Tuilagi in the team photo.[LNB]Please note: no elite sporting icons were harmed in the writing of this column.[LNB] CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP TO OUR FREE FANTASY FOOTBALL GAMEHe's at it again! City bad boy Balotelli caught up in training ground bust-up with KolarovSir Alex SOS - Pardew seeks advice from Ferguson over Barton Twitter fiasco All the latest Man City news, features and opinion[LNB]
