Source: Telegraph
Rennes accuse Manchester City of poaching as scandal relieves the England tedium
Just days after John Terry caused the Bung to snort sugary coffee all over its keyboard by claiming English players don't dive, Frank Lampard has followed his lead by saying Chelsea's transfer ban will help them win the Premier League this season. I preferred England pressers when they did the old 'song title' game, rather than this new 'patronising nonsense' game, didn't you?
Related Articles
*
The Daily Bung: The revolu-toon sweeps Newcastle, while Guthrie's a text maniac
Terry Butcher has described Scott Brown as "Scotland's answer to Paul Gascoigne", prompting the Bung to describe Butcher as "England's answer to the Duke of Edinburgh".
And Rio Ferdinand has belittled Mark Hughes' side and claimed Manchester is "not big enough to support two big teams". Considering United are from Salford, is that really a problem though?
----
LONG LIVE THE INTERNATIONAL BREAK
Normally, the international break resembles a longer and slightly less entertaining version of soon-to-be-canned TV monster Big Brother.
Pretty, tattooed and vacuous housemates (players) are cooped up inside the Big Brother house (5* Grove Hotel) without access to mobile phones. They spend the morning completing pointless tasks (training) at the behest of the all-seeing BB (Capello) before being called into the diary room (media lounge) to regurgitate platitudes in front of the cameras. At the end of the week, the lucky ones are booted out of their claustrophobic surroundings and emerge blinking into the floodlights in an ugly area of north London (Wembley) where they are then booed by the crowd. After being quizzed by the fawning Davina McCall (Geoff Shreeves) they’re finally allowed to meet their partners. Next morning their faces are plastered all over the papers, only for the whole episode to be completely forgotten about once something interesting happens.
Thankfully, though, this break has been altogether more fun, because it’s born witness to a couple of the most intriguing scandals (or ‘gates' as we are contractually obliged to call them) since, well, Gategate, probably.
Hot on the heels of Divegate (apoplectic Arsenal fans, bottle-kicking Arsenal managers, hypocritical England captains: all good fun) came Kakutagate (not quite as much fun because of the slightly apologetic tone of many Chelsea fans. Damn you all for your reasonableness.)
Kakutagate, though, now seems ready to morph into something much more juicy, with plenty of the Premier League’s other big cheeses being dragged into the scandal. Poachgate (OK, needs work, give me a chance) has already seen City reported to Fifa after a raging French blazer accused them of being “worse than Chelsea” over the acquisition of Jeremy Helan. Few things could be funnier than a Chelsea transfer ban, but a City transfer would be one of the few.
Kudos to the Independent for that scoop, and likewise to the Mail for their story about an academy in Cape Town in which investors like Ian Wright, Stephen Warnock, Mart Poom and Alex Song stand to cash in by selling African talent to European clubs. All the players involved insists they have done nothing wrong, and say their intentions are purely altruistic.
Less gold stars however, must go to the Sun this morning, for claiming that Liverpool “could be the next of the Big Four to find themselves in a ‘poaching’ storm – over a youngster who has not even joined them yet.”
This youngster Liverpool have NOT SIGNED is called Max Clayton, and though Liverpool have NOT SIGNED HIM, they have apparently sent a scout to watch him. “Yesterday an FA spokesman said no complaint had been made,” read the Sun's award-winning report.
Perhaps Poachgate is running out of steam already...
