Source: Telegraph
Steven Gerrard finally wins something
16.00 THE HEADLINES AT THE END OF THE DAY
The first result of Euro 2012 is in and it's a resounding 4-1 win for Poland over Ukraine. Ukraine have been given a severe telling off and told they must try harder in future after only Kiev was passed fit to host matches while co-hosts Poland got the thumbs up for Warsaw, Poznan, Wroclaw and Gdansk.
Dimitar Berbatov has obviously been to the same school of hyperbole used by Alan Shearer after branding tonight's perfunctory 3-1 win over Wigan as 'one of the biggest tests of our lives'.
And Bryan Gunn has not been held accountable for the dog of a mess he found when taking over at Norwich this season and has been handed the job of digging them out of a League One sized hole on a full-time basis.
--
15.00 THE HEADLINES THIS HOUR
With half of Poland's builders working in England these days, it is any wonder they and Ukraine have got anywhere at all with preparations for Euro 2012. However, Uefa top brass have still delivered a less than exemplary half term report following their latest inspection.
"We have seen progress over the last few months but we must remind both countries that there is still a huge amount of work to be undertaken," said Michel Platini, while shaking his head and tutting loudly.
Andres Bikey's Didider Drogba-light hissy fit has earned him a charge of improper conduct from the FA.
And the good people of Manchester City Council have not so much tempted fate as hitched up their skirt, unbuttoned the top two buttons of their blouse, slapped on some lippy and flashed come hither eyes in its direction by starting talk of a victory parade after the Champions League final this year.
--
14.00 THE HEADLINES THIS HOUR
If, like the Bung, you have occasion to tune in to the fine offerings to be found on Dutch satellite TV (their nature documentaries are second to none), then you will already know that Bayern Munich and AZ Alkmaar have reached an agreement for coach Louis van Gaal to join the Bundesliga also-rans just in time to sign off the sale of Frank Ribery to Manchester United.
What with no teams from Glasgow due in Manchester this summer to prove otherwise, the local council feel confident that they can manage an outdoor party for thousands of football fans should Manchester United win the Champions League.
Barcelona? Pah! Don't make me laugh, it's the games against Wigan Athletic that are worth living for. Not the opinion of the Bung, or any right minded soul in fact. But a sentiment Dimitar Berbatov appears to agree with, the Bulgarian claiming tonight's match against a side who ended their season three months ahead of schedule 'will be one of the biggest tests of our lives'.
He needn't worry though, Latics big cheese Dave Whelan doesn't fancy spoiling anyone's party anyway and will gladly give United the freedom of the JJB King Dave Whelan Stadium, or whatever it's called now.
--
13.30
Cristiano Ronaldo was apparently put on the naughty step by United's old guard following his derby tantrum.
Under the somewhat puzzling headline "Plonker", the Sun claims "some [United players] have grown up with Sir Alex Ferguson and don't like anyone seeing him treated with disrespect."
The report then loses most of its credibility by claiming "Ronaldo left the ground within 15 minutes - more in embarrassment than anger." Do they really expect us to believe Ronaldo gets ready in 15 minutes? Please...
--
13.00 THE BUNG AT ONE
Quote of the day: "As long as he performs on a Saturday, so what, let him have a few drinks.' Harry Redknapp's booze ban is criticised by none other than Paul Gascoigne. Don't even know where to start with that...
Bet of the day: Burnley to beat Sheffield United in the play-offs @ 7/4
Must read: The return of the Galactico era, and what it means for those lucky, lucky agents.
Must watch: Some football impressionists who aren't as good as Darren Farley
--
12.00 THE HEADLINES THIS HOUR
Carlo Ancelotti has looked at Chelsea and concluded that they desperately need more midfield strollers, hence he will bring Andrea Pirlo with him to Stamford Bridge.
Frank Ribery is off to Real Madrid. Wouldn't like to be the kit man who tells Cristiano Ronaldo...
And Dave Whelan has delighted fans of Wigan, Liverpool, Chelsea and, well, everyone really by saying: "Sir Alex is the maestro, probably the finest the game has seen. It is a shame if we lose and a shame if we beat United."
----
STEVEN GERRARD FINALLY WINS SOMETHING
The Bung is not the kind of blog to go parroting the views of proper footie journos in the brown-nosing hope of one day being allowed to serve behind the bar when they meet to discuss their player of the year. Not since the last time.
But, given a vote in said awards (pah!) that vote would have gone to Steven Gerrard.
For the following reasons:
1) When Liverpool won at Stamford Bridge in October (becoming the first Premier League team to do so in 67 years) Gerrard's dynamism and intelligence was enough to flummox the entire Chelsea system. Fernando Torres did not play in that game.
2) When they thrashed Newcastle 5-1 in December, Gerrard was so devastating that Liverpool could quite conceivably have scored 10. Joe Kinnear: "I probably saw the best performance from a player I have seen in a long time from Gerrard. He was magnificent." Again, Torres did not play in that game.
3) After Gerrard scored twice and completely embarrassed Real Madrid with a sublime combination of passing, power and finishing, Zinedine Zidane described him as the best player in the world.
4) Four days later, he went to Old Trafford and was even better against Manchester United.
5) He was clearly injured in the Champions League semi-final first leg, but gave it a go anyway. Michael Essien would have never dominated a fit Gerrard in that fashion.
6) Gerrard, Liverpool's captain, has gracefully marked the 20th anniversary of Hillsborough, the tragedy where Gerrard lost his cousin.
"This club has fought for justice ever since and will continue to do so," he said. We have stuck together since that day, like we always do here, and that shows what kind of football club we are, sticking by each other when times are tough. We are not just about what happens on the pitch but we are all one off it as well. "They [the victims' families] have behaved impeccably and the club are very proud of them and the way they have handled this tragedy. The players will continue to be a support for them, I can guarantee that."
7) Gerrard committed his future to Liverpool without an interminable will-he, won't-he saga. Rafa Benitez: "As soon as we offered him the option, he said yes. There were no problems at all. He wants to stay for life."
8) Manchester United have had no outstanding individual this season, their triumph has come through incredible squad strength.
I am aware that Gerrard has been arrested this season. I am aware he almost joined Chelsea twice. I am aware that many people believe he only stayed at Liverpool because he received death threats. I am aware that Liverpool will win nothing this season. Again. And I am also aware that, somewhere in Dubai, there is a Steven Gerrard Tower being built.
But all of that is outweighed by the simple fact that Gerrard is an English footballer who justifies the hype. And that's more than enough for a gong...
