"We very quickly found out that Luton Town Football Club did not do what it said on the tin."
Hatters manager Kevin Blackwell announces he will be leaving the cash-strapped club after they failed to get his Ronseal of approval.

"It was very nice to enter the locker room. There was a good feeling in there, and I got a good feeling from Kevin Doyle and Stephen Hunt."
Reading new boy Marek Matejovsky is touched by his special welcome.

"You probably think I'm Kenny Sansom!"
Little Britain star Matt Lucas on meeting Wenger after the Frenchman admitted he had never seen the show.

"I am sure we will see pictures of Sam in his Speedos walking along a beach somewhere. That won't be a pretty sight."
Wigan manager Steve Bruce speculates on where Big Sam will pop up next....no-one wants to see that.

"Once Ashley puts some weight on he will be fantastic. At the moment he's about three-and-a-half stone - a couple of times we have put him through the letterbox!"
Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill on what Ashley Young needs to keep on delivering.

"When Kevin first came to the club he asked to be called 'SuperKev'. To be honest we thought he must be a bit of a k***-head, but now we know why."
West Brom skipper Jonathan Greening is delighted Kevin Phillips is putting the willies up opposition defenders.

"Sometimes he has breakfast with the staff and asks a million questions. He doesn't get a million answers but Wayne is refreshing."
Sir Alex Ferguson has a million reasons to love Wayne Rooney.

"I don't know where Carlos keeps the dummy. He produces it from nowhere."
Manchester United midfielder Michael Carrick on Carlos Tevez's mysterious goal celebration prop.

"He has played for nearly every club in the world. It is absolutely amazing how much money he's moved for. He is, himself, a bank!"
Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger on his former player, walking cash machine Nicolas Anelka, following his move to Chelsea.