The FA has decided it’s going to change the DNA of the England team.
That sounds like a great idea to us. But what exactly is in England’s DNA? We got our microscopes out and had a look.
Missing penalties
Obviously.
Hating each other
The Liverpool players hate the United players, who hate the Arsenal players, who hate the Tottenham players…
And everybody hates this guy.
Fair play
The England team have a reputation for playing the game the right way and not diving, and that’s a good thing. Not sure it’s 100% justified though…
Weak metatarsals
Superiority complex
We gave the game to the world and we think we ought to be better than everyone else. We are not better than everyone else.
Global unpopularity
Maybe that’s because we always say things like “we gave the game to the world”. No one likes us, we don’t care.
Underachievement
Why do players always seem to play better for their clubs than they do for England? Must be in the DNA.
Cojones
This is something we’re happy to leave in the DNA. Not everything needs changing.
Source: PA
