Everything you wish you'd forgotten about England's loss to Italy in the World Cup

30 March 2015 14:32

England take on Italy in Turin tomorrow – but we’re still not over the scars from the last time the two sides met.

So, to get us in the spirit for the friendly against the Azzurri, what better way than to relive the pain of that 2-1 loss in Brazil? Every last second of it.

Here’s everything you wish you couldn’t remember about that game…

The heat of Manaus

A view of the Arena de Amazonia in Manaus
The Arena de Amazonia in Manaus, where English dreams go to die (Adam Davy/PA)

We all spent months familiarising ourselves with the climatic conditions of Manaus because it seemed important. In short: very hot and very humid.

Raheem Sterling definitely scored

Or at least it seemed that way. Sterling’s early shot actually hit the side netting, but everyone – everyone! – thought it was in.

Phil Neville was not the one

Phil Neville in a commentary position
The second best Neville (Nigel French/EMPICS)

It was a big moment – the opening match of England’s World Cup campaign. Everyone was excited – everyone except Phil Neville.

The BBC co-commentator’s monotone was the one thing more depressing than what was happening on the pitch.

There was hope, briefly

England striker Daniel Sturridge celebrating after scoring against Italy in the World Cup
Daneil Sturridge dances after scoring against Italy (Themba Hadebe/AP)

England were 1-0 down after 35 minutes, but equalised almost immediately through Daniel Sturridge, and he danced the dance of optimism. The Liverpool striker was good back then.

Then there was no hope

Italy's Mario Balotelli celebrates his goal against England
Mario Balotelli: just super enough to beat England (Marcio Jose Sanchez/AP)

Mario Balotelli put Italy 2-1 up five minutes into the second half. Yes, Mario Balotelli scored an actual goal. The Liverpool striker was good back then.

That Wayne Rooney corner

It was the sort of thing that, when it happens, make commentators say: “That just about sums up England’s day.” And it pretty much did.

Joe Hart did a hilarious and massive swear

Even this video – which contains the England stopper screaming the second worst of all the words – couldn’t cheer us up at the time because it didn’t surface until the following day. Worse luck.

Mario Balotelli wanted a kiss from the Queen

Not technically from the England-Italy game, but still part of the whole sorry debacle – shortly after England lost to Uruguay, leaving them needing Italy to beat Costa Rica to stay in the tournament, Super Mario declared he wanted a kiss from the Queen if his team did the business.

Italy lost. No kiss from Her Madge was forthcoming. Not that we’ve seen, anyway.

Gary Lineker was an Italy fan

A screenshot of Gary Lineker presenting Match of the Day in an Italy shirt
Gary Lineker was an Italy fan – as were we all (Screenshot/BBC One)

Again from that Italy-Costa Rica game, when Lineker took to the airwaves wearing an Azzurri shirt. Again, Italy lost.

Andrea Pirlo’s damning verdict

England's Steven Gerrard and Andrea Pirlo of Italy battle for the ball
Stevie G and Andi P (Pirlo, not Peters) (Mike Egerton/PA)

The Italy playmaker was reported to have said: “Raheem Sterling was the only English player to cause me problems, very talented.” Ah, but that was before the halcyon days of Harry Kane. Things are different now…

Source: SNAPPA