Everything you were thinking during tonight's England game

28 March 2015 10:38

England did exactly what was expected of them tonight and beat Lithuania 4-0 in their European Championship qualifier.

Here’s exactly what you were thinking.

As the line-ups were announced, a lot of people were incensed that saviour of the world Harry Kane wasn’t starting. Even Arsenal fans were hoping to see a Kane goal.

We were dreaming up headlines.

And wondering how Joe Hart was going to keep himself busy.

Others were pleased England finally seem to have a right back in the team who isn’t just pace and nothing else (sorry Kyle Walker and Glen Johnson).

We’d been hearing a lot about a sold out Wembley. That’s not what we saw, though.

Andy Townsend said words, all of which you considered offensive and/or wrong.

Something happened which is so rare while watching England that we wondered if we were in fact watching England.

When Wayne Rooney scored the opener, we were so predictable that “Yes Rooney” actually trended on Twitter for a bit.

(Twitter)
(Twitter)

There were Raheem Sterling jokes that nobody has laughed at since that one time he was tired last year. We have no doubt that one crossed your mind at some point, however.

We got to half time and England were 2-0 up, but wow – it was boring. People were tuning out in their… well some people were tuning out.

Glenn Hoddle spoke and a few more people turned over to see what Masterchef had in store for them.

Yeah yeah, we get it. It was boring. But there was still someone on the bench to lift spirits and, more importantly, something quite remarkable on the pitch. Lithuania’s shirts were made by Hummel. It made everyone a bit nostalgic.

No doubt that Lithuania will become the hipster capital of international football over the next few months.

You wondered whether Roy Hodgson has the same problem as a lot of fans do when watching football in a stadium. “Who scored that one?”

There was that small matter of Kane being on the bench, and we eventually saw him.

It took him all of 80 seconds before he scored his first ever international goal.

And with that, the game was over. You can go back to pretending not to be asleep now.

Source: SNAPPA