Source: FOOTYMAD
Santa Claus is Blues top target
Well everyone else has being linked Chelsea has made an audacious bid to sign Santa Claus from Greenland's top team, Elfenden FC.Chelsea-Mad can reveal that Claus is winging his way to SW6 as we speak.Sky Sports has launched their skycam helicopter hoping to catch a glimpse of Claus arriving in his sleigh, ably assisted by reindeers Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and,Blitzen.The whereabouts of Rudolph, is unknown, but it's believed the red-nosed reindeer is in talks with Sir Alex Ferguson about a move to Old Trafford. The Blues are in desperate need to improve their off-field image following the shameful events of players poor behaviour and the cack-handed way they have dismissed previous coaches.They also believe Claus will bring them the gift of the Champions League, Premier League title and the FA Cup to Stamford Bridge - not even Chelsea want the Carling Cup anymore.Claus, for his part is prepared to sign for the Blues provided they change their kit to red with white trimmings.He also wants to bring his own little helpers which could spell the end of the road for long-serving player assistant Gary Straker.Chelsea chief executive Ron Gourlay said: "Santa Claus is the most outstanding fictional character of his generation."Chelsea strive to bring the spirit of Christmas to every match they play and Claus can play a major part in this - we hope to conclude the deal before the winter transfer deadline.Claus will be expected to fulfil his world-wide commitment to bringing presents to every good boy and girl on Christmas Eve, which this year is a Saturday.New manager - not coach, Andre Villas-Boas was unaware of the arrival of the white-bearded fat hitman - but since his own arrival last week, Chelsea has beinglinked to every player in the world, so Claus's will not unduly worry him. Villas-Boas, for his part has asked for a new bicycle and world peace. Failing that he wants no longer to be compared to Jose Mourinho.
