MARTIN SAMUEL: What Hiddink can learn from the principles of the playground and Pokemon

06 May 2009 00:16
You don't fight fire with fire. Water, that's what you need, andplenty of it. Take the computer game Pokemon. You wouldn't send outVulpix to battle Charmander because they are both fire Pokemon andtheir attacks would have little effect. [LNB]No, you need Squirtle to defeat Charmander because he is a waterPokemon and water extinguishes fire, just as fire melts ice and, well,we're getting into a whole Pokemon thing here. [LNB]Heated character: Charmander[LNB]If you have kids you know this stuff, but if you don't you areprobably a little lost right now. So to cut to the chase, the point isthat all games are basically the same, even the daft ones, and it isnot a good tactic to play to an opponent's strengths. [LNB]If you are amusing your great aunt with a few hands of rummy and she looks to be collecting fours, don't lay down a four. [LNB]If you have a round of Top Trumps (England Legends) with your littlecousin and he is holding Peter Shilton, don't go up against him oninternational appearances, because Shilton has the record and you willlose. Ask how many goals he scored instead. Even David Nugent couldbeat him on that one. Not that he is in the pack, but you get my drift.[LNB]Guus Hiddink, the Chelseamanager, may have abandoned childish pastimes long ago, but he wouldappreciate that the principles of the card table, the playground andeven of animated Japanese pocket monsters are also the key to successat Stamford Bridge tonight. [LNB]Chelsea's great wall: Hiddink's men must water down Barca's fiery Charmander qualities[LNB]The one thing Chelsea cannot afford to do is to be goaded intoplaying Barcelona's game. Indeed, it would be suicidal if Hiddink'splayers approached the second leg of their Champions League semi-finalwith designs on proving a point. State your case by winning, yes, butnot by attempting to give Barcelona a lesson in football. [LNB]If Chelsea's players were unable to match the opposition on anartistic level in the Nou Camp, what will have changed in seven days?The pitch is still the pitch, the ball is still the ball, and LionelMessi will be a potentially devastating match-winner whether playing inBarcelona or London. [LNB]Chelsea have no need to be gung-ho, even if the match is at home.Nor do they have any obligation to pander to the sensibilities ofaesthetes, whether in the press box, on the sofa or emerging with agrievance from the away team's dressing room. Manchester United werenot extravagantly cavalier against Barcelona last season, and that wasbefore Pep Guardiola had turned them into the most fearsome attackingforce in Europe. [LNB]   More from Martin Samuel... MARTIN SAMUEL: Messi will be hard pressed to top this Ronaldo supershow05/05/09 MARTIN SAMUEL: Our league is healthy when youlook below Platini and his 'big four'03/05/09 MARTIN SAMUEL: Pig flu? Send for that lucky swine Sven30/04/09 Martin Samuel: Just come in No 32... the price is too high for United's Tevez29/04/09 MARTIN SAMUEL: Hiddink surrenders moral high ground with total eclipse28/04/09 MARTIN SAMUEL: Forget the quick fix... Shearer's duty is to build a new Newcastle28/04/09 Martin Samuel: Changing of the guard? Not for Barcelona hero Guardiola27/04/09 MARTIN SAMUEL: Foreign influence in English game IS a passport to success26/04/09 VIEW FULL ARCHIVE Hiddink has some fine players, too, most notably Didier Drogba andFrank Lampard, but it would need an inspired performance from theentire team to go toe to manicured toe with Barcelona. Chelsea playednegatively in the first leg not because Hiddink had a grandiose masterplan involving a later transformation; they were negative because hehad little else up his sleeve. [LNB]Hiddink astutely looked at both teams and, realising he could notmatch Barcelona as an attacking force, elected to play to hisstrengths, which lie in heroic defending (John Terry did not commit asingle foul at the Nou Camp) and a powerful defensive midfield, withMichael Essien cutting the supply line to Messi. He knew his bestchance of a goal came from a set-piece, or on the counter-attackthrough Drogba, and that fact has not altered either. [LNB]This is not to paint a gloomy picture, for Chelsea excel in thepower game. Indeed, of the four teams in action in the Champions Leaguelast week, they were the only ones to execute their manager's plan withabsolute efficiency. [LNB]It is merely that, man for man, only Drogba among Chelsea's forwards and midfield would make Barcelona's team, being better than Samuel Eto'o. Essien might challenge Yaya Toure as a defensive midfield player, but while Lampard would walk into the majority of teams in Europe, Barcelona, with Xavi and Andres Iniesta running central midfield, is the exception.[LNB] No contest: Lionel Messi skips past Lampard, who would fail to command a starting berth in the Barcelona side[LNB] [LNB]Hiddink, a realist, will have no time for the carping of the cognoscenti, either. Yes, for neutrals, it would be better if Barcelona won. Those of us who wish only to be entertained would feel short-changed by this season's competition if a Barcelona team that is rewriting the record books for attacking play in Spain fell at a late hurdle to rivals who, by comparison, inspire only with power and efficiency. [LNB]It is impossible not to be delighted with the ambition of Barcelona, yet without darkness there is no light and, if a band of blue meanies are standing in Messi's way again, it is up to his coach to figure a way around them and Hiddink should make no apology for that. [LNB]One of Sir Alex Ferguson's most endearing qualities is consistently championing the right of teams such as Wimbledon, Bolton Wanderers and Stoke City to play how they like against Manchester United, providing they remain within the rules. He may not enjoy agricultural football but he knows the challenge is to overcome it. [LNB]Chelsea were a long-ball team at the Nou Camp, often negative and ugly to watch. Despite this, they were effective and, secretly, Barcelona will be dreading the possibility that they will play that way again. What they will hope is that Chelsea will feel driven, either by the home crowd or ego, to take them on as an attacking entity. [LNB]Chelsea came out to play against Barcelona under Jose Mourinho in 2005 and won 4-2, despite one of the greatest goals the competition has seen from Ronaldinho, but if Barcelona score twice tonight few would wager on Chelsea's progress. Knowing his team are strong from free-kicks and corners and that Drogba is a clinical finisher his miss in the first leg was one of the most surprising aberrations of the season Hiddink will fancy his chances as long as he can keep one half of the scoreline at Barcelona nil.[LNB]VIDEO: Ronaldinho's miraculous chip at Stamford Bridge[LNB] [LNB]There will be predictable groans if Chelsea grind their way to another Champions League final, yet they have more than paid their dues to football this season, and certainly to this competition in recent campaigns. The match with Barcelona in 2005 was exceptional, as was the 4-2 demolition of Bayern Munich in the next round. [LNB]This year, Chelsea have been one half of a truly epic quarter-final with Liverpool, which ended 7-5 on aggregate, and last season they overcame all obstacles planted by UEFA to deliver an outstanding Champions League final with Manchester United. [LNB]It is not Chelsea's duty to be shoved out into the battlefield as plucky cannon fodder, trading shots with a superior opponent until cut to ribbons. [LNB]What is unfortunate is that, after five years of investment from Roman Abramovich albeit much reduced of late Chelsea have not constructed a team that can play in Barcelona's image. Mourinho built a powerhouse squad, which Avram Grant did not have sufficient time to revamp, while Luiz Felipe Scolari did not have the necessary funds. He upgraded the right back from Paulo Ferreira to Jose Bosingwa, and introduced Deco, who quickly ran out of steam, but Chelsea have never been able to attract football's beautiful people.[LNB] Keep your chin up: the charismatic Special One assembled a rugged and successful squad, yet Champions League glory avoided the Portuguese[LNB] [LNB]Abramovich could not prise Thierry Henry from Arsenal, while Cristiano Ronaldo and Messi are now off-limits at Manchester United and Barcelona, clubs that do not sell their best players. Abramovich's managers do not get the time to invent a compelling club ethos like Arsene Wenger at Arsenal, and so, for all the messages about his devotion to the game as an art form, Chelsea's owner will again sit through a high-profile match in which his team are cast as the moustache-twirling villains, intent on spoiling everybody's fun. [LNB]They must embrace this typecasting, however, rather than take the bait to change. This is what winners do. At the rugby World Cup in 2003, perhaps Sir Clive Woodward's most significant achievement was staying true to his game plan when every day he was assailed by the challenge to modify England's style. [LNB]After England had defeated South Africa by 19 points and Jonny Wilkinson kicked seven from seven after which, bizarrely, the South Africans strutted around as if they had made some point about English vulnerability one Australian newspaper ran a picture of Wilkinson taking a penalty beneath the headline: 'Is that all you've got?' [LNB]A lesser man than Woodward might have been riled into a self-defeating form of point-scoring, which could only have suited England's opposition, but nothing changed inside his camp. English rugby had more than the boot of Wilkinson anyway. Woodward knew that but, more importantly, he did not want his players to become intimidated into ignoring a very special weapon. As Wilkinson kicked the winning drop goal against Australia in the final, Woodward received confirmation that his strategy had worked.[LNB] Is that all you've got? Wilkinson kicks the winning drop goal to cap England's 20-17 victory[LNB] [LNB]Contrast this with the rugby World Cup in 1991, which England should have won, had they not become distracted by voices outside the camp. A label with the inscription '10-man rugby' was affixed to Will Carling's England and employed liberally by every opponent and critic all the way to the final. [LNB]It was said England relied too much on the forwards and the boot of Rob Andrew, until, in the last game against Australia, England were drawn into attempting to disprove this theory by abandoning a successful formula in favour of running the ball Southern Hemisphere style. [LNB]Australia won 12-6. [LNB]Football is not that different from rugby, and neither is it very far removed from Pokemon, Top Trumps or three-card brag. Play to your strengths and fight fire with water. Hiddink has no obligation to avoid urinating on Barcelona's bonfire. [LNB] Shearer restores pride with Joey ban Decent: Shearer spared his club more shame over Barton [LNB]Alan Shearer found Joey Barton out. The player had the opportunity to be a genuine force for good in helping Newcastle United claw out of this hole, and he recklessly rejected it with his tackle on Xabi Alonso. Shearer recognised the lack of care instantly, and nailed Barton, which is why there was such an angry reaction to his criticism. [LNB]Still, does anyone remain in doubt that he is the man to manage Newcastle United? There is very little pride on Tyneside these days but Shearer reclaimed a sliver of it with the announcement that Barton had been told to stay away from the club indefinitely. [LNB]This has no great impact, as Barton's red card ensured he would not play any further part in the season, but it may just have been a first tentative step on the path to Newcastle's recovery. [LNB]Shearer desperately needs a win, but ditching Barton showed he at least cares more for the reputation of his club than many predecessors. And Newcastle again stand for something other than boardroom chaos. Shearer gave the player a chance, which was the decent approach, and, when Barton abused it, as he has just about every chance offered, Shearer acted to prevent further embarrassment. [LNB]Newcastle have endured too many humiliations this season without being required to foster the remnants of Barton's career. Another club will take him, for a pittance, in the forlorn hope that he will change, but at least Newcastle do not have to suffer this indignity any more. [LNB]It may be that Barton remains a Premier League fixture and Newcastle do not but, long-term, Shearer will win. 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Source: Daily_Mail