Good day for: The Football Writers Award. Can't be any worse can it?
Related ArticlesNewcastle in for a shock, says HartFA investigate suspect bettingWho gets your vote?Jenas: Webb crumbled under pressureFA want Jermaine Jenas explanation on referee commentsArsenals Andrei Arshavin highlights wisdom of Tottenhams transfer policyBad day for: Huffers (see below). Green Street is now mean street for this Lampsie-loving Hammer.
Quote of the day: "I think it was a case of a referee crumbling under the pressure at Old Trafford really. The atmosphere, the occasion, the importance of the match, a lot of factors take their toll when making decisions. OK we went on to concede another four after that. But it would have been a completely different game if they had not got that first goal." - Jermaine Jenas doesn't believe in the unwritten rule which says: concede five, don't talk.
Tonight's football: Newcastle v Portsmouth, 8pm, Setanta Sports 1 (or £30 on the door - bags of tickets left)
Amazing what four goals can do.
Just months after Mrs Andrei Arshavin described London as dirty and scruffy, Yulia is now enjoying something approaching WAG heaven.
Just as her other half is finding his feet on the pitch, So Yulia is loving life in the posh seats.
Here's what she thought in February: 'As far as London's citizens are concerned, I didn't like them at all. They are very dirty, scruffy. London is a very dirty city. The women there don't care about themselves and what they look like.
"Often you see a woman in a street gobbling up a hamburger with grease dropping on her dress. English food is disgusting. It doesn't taste good and the price doesn't correspond to the quality. I didn't like English beer, either.'
And here's her take today: 'I like very much how they take care of the footballers' wives and children. There's a special spacious room where we wait for our husbands after the games. There's a bar there with tea, coffee, soft drinks and a buffet with snacks.
'There's nothing like this in St Petersburg. I remember very well how I had to wait for Andrey sitting in the car for two hours when he was selected for a doping test after the match.'
Unfortunately, Yulia hasn't made many WAG friends yet, but she is quite happy spending her time gazing in wonder at the Emirates pitch.
'Looking from a distance I thought it was artificial, It's so flat, smooth, and evenly coloured.' Much like a WAG, then.
15.00 THE HEADLINES THIS HOUR
Howard Webb has admitted giving Tottenham a convenient excuse Manchester United a undeserved penalty at the weekend. Dermot Gallagher said: "I talked to Howard and he knows he made a mistake. He didn't think the goalkeeper had got the ball. He thought that Carrick had touched the ball sideways and then the goalkeeper brought him down." Webb will still referee the FA Cup final however, which thankfully doesn't involve Manchester United.
Luiz Felipe Scolari has been linked with a new job with the Angolan national team, which probably pays roughly what he was on at Chelsea.
And Ryan Giggs has thanked Sir Alex Ferguson for keeping him fresh enough to win the PFA gong in his 42nd season at United. "He knows when to rest me," said Giggs. "When I started, it used to be called getting dropped, but now it's having a rest."
14.00 THE HEADLINES THIS HOUR
Paul Hart reckons Portsmouth will bully Newcastle tonight. "Our back four has been looking absolutely awesome and when you're stood in the tunnel the opposition must look at some of our players and think Gordon Bennett because they're huge" said Hart.
Jurgen Klinsmann will be linked with managerial vacancies at Newcastle, Chelsea, Inter Milan and AC Milan this summer after being sacked by Bayern Munich.
And despite Alex Ferguson lobbying for Howard Webb, Uefa have appointed Claus Bo Larsen for the Champions League semi with Arsenal.
Al Pacino for Scent of a Woman, Paul Newman for the Colour of Money, and now Ryan Giggs for 2008/9. It seems footballers love tear-jerking sentimentality as much as Hollywood's Academy.
Give us your thoughts on the great Giggsy debate here, or at the foot of this page.
13.00 THE HEADLINES THIS HOUR
Rafael has signed a new deal at Manchester United, despite being the only Red Devils to have played more than 10 games and not make the PFA team.
Despite Alan Shearer billing the game as the biggest in a generation, there are still plenty of tickets available for Newcastle's game with Portsmouth tonight. Read more about the new Leeds here.
And Jermaine Jenas says his Tottenham team-mates referee Howard Webb "crumbled under the pressure" at Old Trafford on Saturday.
12.00 THE HEADLINES THIS HOUR
Ryan Giggs has won the Lifetime Achievement Award Player of the Year gong for scoring one goal against West Ham.
Read more here.
Emmanuel Adebayor says AC Milan's interest in him was like "being fancied by Beyoncé." A nice line, although given the age of Milan's squad, it was probably more like being fancied by Helen Mirren.
And the eejits who bang on about how managers don't need experience to be successful will need a new poster boy after Jurgen Klinsmann was sacked by Bayern Munich.
Read more here.
HUFFERS THE HAMMER
Right. Time for honesty please.
Which football fan didn't laugh when John Terry's mum was arrested for shoplifting?
Exactly. It was funny. It is still funny.
I'm sure it has caused genuine distress on 'Terry Street', the Surrey address where Sue Terry lives next door to her son. But for most of us, it was a giggle.
Terry wasn't laughing on Saturday however, when West Ham fans 'crossed the line' with their larceny-related ditties.
And presumably he wasn't intending to make a tea-leaf gag when he summed up his satisfaction of winning at West Ham by saying: 'You can't buy that.'
Frank Lampard dealt with receiving abuse about his family slightly more stylishly.
'You let your children down,' chanted the West Ham fans, who are famously intolerant of anything contravening current Child Support Agency mandates.
But by setting up the winner, applauding the crowd, then throwing his shirt into the stand, Lampard scored a huge public relations coup. And that's thanks to Huffers.
According to the messageboards, Huffers is the Hammers fan who left Upton Park on Saturday proudly clutching Lampard's No 8 shirt. And to make matters worse, Huffers was seen scrapping for the shirt with another West Ham fan.
Judging by the reaction, young Huffers is now a bigger hate figure than Lampard.
Here's a taster of the current feelings on West Ham online.
Toe Rag 7:39 Mon Apr 27. Re: Huffers – Lampard's Shirt.
"I reckon the very least Huffers should have done was to lob a chicken balti pie back in the other direction as payment. That would have very succinctly summed it all up."
Northern Sold 5:48 Sun Apr 26. Re: Huffers – Lampard's Shirt.
"I personaly think Huffers at the Liverpool game should have to walk up the entire stretch of Green Street with a claret and blue painted cross on his half naked back. around his head will be the `The Shirt'. his Crown of Thorns. King of the Spivs the whole of Green Street should be full of West ham . all kicking Huffers up the arse. That should make the national press?"
One McAvennieeeeee 6:12 Sun Apr 26. Re: Huffers – Lampard's Shirt.
"Make no mistake, this wasn't just a coincidence the shirt went to the fella who collects memrobillia (sp) etc. Huffers would have been leaning over begging for it. He's shamed my club."
only1billybonds 10:23 Sun Apr 26. Re: Huffers – Lampard's Shirt.
"I just hope no pikey Millwall c**** get wind of this. They would have a field day."