When Sam Ricketts handled Peter Crouch's attempted flick over him Tom Huddlestone stepped up, only to be denied by Jaaskelainen.
Defoe was stripped of the spot-kick duties after missing in the previous round against Leeds, his sixth failure in 10 attempts from the spot.
"We have not been too lucky with penalties. Normally when you see Tom take them in training he does it with power but he tried to place it," said Jordan.
"But I think when a penalty is saved you have to give credit to the goalkeeper."
The Spurs assistant boss felt they did enough to win the match, with Crouch hitting the crossbar with a header and Wanderers defender Paul Robinson deflecting Wilson Palacios' cross onto the top of the frame of the goal via Jaaskelainen.
"We lived dangerously in the first half as we didn't play particularly well and the performance was not good enough," Jordan added.
"But in the second half we got ourselves sorted out and we should be going away with the victory, no question of that."
However, Bolton manager Owen Coyle was equally frustrated at not booking a place in the quarter-finals.
"(Tottenham manager) Harry Redknapp said to me at full-time he thought it was a game of two halves but I think it was a game of an hour for us with the last half-hour going to Tottenham," he said.
"The players will tell you I had a blast at them at full-time because I believe we should have done enough earlier on to have won the game.
"If we had come in at half-time with a bigger lead, no-one would have thought it was unjust.
"There is a lot to be pleased about. For large periods of the game we were in the ascendancy.
"Probably none of us wanted a replay but we are in the draw for the next round and who is to say we can't go there (White Hart Lane) and win the replay?"
Coyle also reported encouraging news on centre-back Gary Cahill, currently sidelined after being diagnosed with a blood clot in his arm.
"We don't want to get ahead of ourselves but the clot has dissolved and we'll revisit it in two weeks with a scan with a top specialist in that field," said the Scot.
"Having done that we will see what the picture is from there but there should be some news in two weeks and hopefully it will be of the better variety."