The Christmas party is a terrifying prospect for a manager - watching on from behind his hands, praying his stars don't end up injuring themselves, or in court, or worse.
In 2008 women were banned from Manchester United's swanky bash in London. In 2009 Tottenham players sneaked in a boozy party after telling Harry Redknapp they were going golfing. Their loss to Wolves was blamed on a hangover.
Chelsea like a bit of fancy dress. In 2007 John Terry turned up as Mr Incredible, while Frank Lampard went for a bizarre French ensemble. Andriy Shevchenko just threw on a roll-neck jumper - prompting talk he should try dressing as a Premier League footballer every once in a while.
But by the sounds of things at Manchester City, we could be in for a tame festive season in 2010. Carlos Tevez has planned their bash and he's taking the players to see We Will Rock You in Manchester.
Apparently Tevez has seen it many times himself and thinks it would be fun to take the likes of Mario Balotelli, Gareth Barry and SWP to the theatre for a sing-a-long. Elevenses is rather disappointed at the prospect, and has been left yearning for a less innocent time.
Come on Carlos, scrap that idea and take the boys to a swanky club in London instead. Once there the boys can get wasted, act like idiots and go home with random blonde women.
That's what the fans want. That's what we've come to expect.