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Elevenses - Welcome to the big time Jack Wilshere

Published: 19 Nov 2010 - 10:49:41

No sooner has Jack Wilshere earned the respect of his contemporaries and the England manager, than the 18-year-old is reported to have cheated on his girlfriend with a lap-dancer. And it gets better.

The Hobbit-esque Arsenal star is alleged to have 'sneaked' Jessica Jansen into his grandmother's house to perform the obligatory footballer's 'romp'. Footballers always 'romp', it's one of the key skills of the trade. But who romps in a Gran's house? (Insert Rooney joke here) Seriously. Did she cook the lap-dancer a nice stew to keep her energy levels up?

The Sun, who simply wouldn't survive without stupid footballers, claims Wilshere and Jansen exchanged 'saucy' texts in an affair that began in August and has only just ended - apparently Wilshere's girlfriend found out.

One of the texts from Wilshere allegedly read: "Come to my hotel tonite. Get some condoms lol". Elevenses is not so sure about the LOL in all of this, or the ROFL for that matter. It's just another footballer doing what footballers do. And doing it without the merest semblance of the class Wilshere displays on the field.

Wilshere is said to have met Jansen, a Stringfellows girl (what a cliche!), on a night out to celebrate Arsenal's 6-0 thumping of Blackpool. Apparently she had no idea he was a footballer, but thought Wilshere 'funny and attractive'.

Elevenses isn't buying either of those claims. ZzzzzzzzzzzzzDSG

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Elevenses is a high-energy performer who bites at the ankles of football and is not afraid to put a boot in. If it’s in the game, it’s fair game. Unsurprisingly Elevenses is served at 11am every weekday morning. So come and join us for a cup full of opinion and hilarity, and don’t be shy if you’ve got a story you think we should cover.

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