Elevenses can't help but love Arsenal and their hobbit-like genius. If Middle Earth needs some extras, the likes of Andrei Arshavin, Jack Wilshere and Thomas Rosicky are just hairy toes away from fitting the bill.
Arsenal don't play like your average Premier League outfit, and they certainly don't look like one either. When they took on Manchester City is was like watching elves against orcs. Even Maroune Chamakh has been styled to look a good deal smaller than his frame.
As for Arsene Wenger, there's more than a touch of the Gandolphs about the way he's got Nicklas Bendtner finishing like Dennis Bergkamp, and Theo Walcott rampaging down the wing like somebody who knows what to do with the football.
Those who thought Bendtner was rubbish will be rubbing their eyes in disbelief after watching that finish last night - his second goal in four days. As for Walcott, the speedboat without a driver has got a driver. And a bloody good one too.
Elevenses likes footballers to be different, and whoever cuts hair at the Emirates deserves some plaudits. Who knows, maybe elfish hair is part of the Wenger philosophy? Everybody knows how a haircut can affect your mood.
- - -
Poor old Mikey Owen.
The 30-year-old former footballer, and now Carling Cup regular at Manchester United, has said he may quit at the end of the season if he doesn't get a new deal.
Elevenses can't help but wonder if a new haircut and a move to Arsenal could sort him right out.