Elevenses - Rooney to Blackpool; Why the Premier League needs an extreme NFL draft
Published: 22 Oct 2010 - 10:23:38
The problem with professional football...is it's full of professional footballers. The game is absolutely jam-packed with prancing prima donnas who study their contract on an hourly basis, but regularly forget how to kick a ball around when it matters.
Elevenses is in an Ian Holloway-inspired mood this morning, and ready to fire.
It's time to turn the tables on the Billy Big Boots dictating the game at the highest level, and start developing a new mindset. We're calling for an extreme version of the NFL draft in the Premier League, where every player starts without a club in July and the worst team from the previous season (who didn't get relegated) gets first pick.
In our brave new world every player is paid equally, earning bonuses based on where their team finishes in the league and how many games they play. Nobody can leave a club during that 12 month period.
So...this July West Ham would have stepped up and - you'd imagine - probably gone for one of Wayne Rooney, Didier Drogba or Frank Lampard (well maybe not Lampard). Wigan next, then Wolves, then Bolton etc etc.
Here are five reasons this would be brilliant.
1. Apart from Chelsea and Manchester City fans, who wants to see Chelsea and Manchester City swap titles for the next 20 years? Wouldn't it be brilliant if a couple of great draft picks made West Brom realistic contenders and left City peddling Championship-rate upstarts at Eastlands?
2. Earning more money than their team-mates turns players into egomaniacs and ruins their team ethic. Treat everybody equally and footballers will be nicer people.
3. Moving players around each season will ensure they all know each other really well and form good friendships. England will win the World Cup as a result of the newfound bonds between players.
4. Footballers will have much less chance to cheat on their wives if they're concentrating fully on helping their teams win trophies. Performance-related pay should cut the number of scandals in half.
5. The idea of Rooney playing under Ian Holloway at Blackpool is simply hilarious.
Your views are welcome.
- FOOTBALL.CO.UK BLOGGER:Elevenses
- Elevenses is a high-energy performer who bites at the ankles of football and is not afraid to put a boot in. If it’s in the game, it’s fair game. Unsurprisingly Elevenses is served at 11am every weekday morning. So come and join us for a cup full of opinion and hilarity, and don’t be shy if you’ve got a story you think we should cover.
Previous Blog Posts
- Fergie slams snoods
- The Burmese dictator who wanted to buy United
- Tevez knocks spots off Mancini
- Christmas party season is upon us
- When is a humiliation not a humiliation?
- Premier League stars as X-Factor semi-finalists
- England can win the npower Championship
- Rooney embraces his inner Shrek
- Jose Mourinho will never retire
- Roo's behind you! Wazza the star in United panto
- Welcome to the big time Jack Wilshere
- Will and Kate step aside; Balotelli dumps his WAG by Text
- Beckham's MLS Cup dream dies
- The Simple Cash Solution to Selection-Gate
- Unbreakable Drogba Won't Dive For Malaria
- Leaving Party at the Palace? Edgar Davids orders a Taxi
- Footballing effigies are the future of Bonfire Night
- Maicon RIP: Killer Bale on the Loose
- Rafa v Roy: Pour some sugar on them
- Sharks circle for Mancini
- Welcome to the Processed Chicken Ewood Park!
- Elfish Arsenal have developed a winning hobbit; Owen Owen gone?
- England stars get a kick in the Ballon d'Ors
- Who said nobody likes Gary Neville?
- Robert Pires to non-league Crawley? Football really has gone mad
- If you don't drink milk you'll only be good enough to play for Liverpool
- Mancini tempts Rooney with 'Sex at the City'
- Is it really ok to swear on your girlfriend's life?
- Has Brett Favre been reading the Ashley Cole playbook?
- Kevin Davies goes down in history
- Is Peter Crouch the best sixth-choice international striker in world football?
- Vucinic to repeat pants trick if he scores against England
- Wayne Rooney ain't a chav innit; Murphy slams psycho managers
- American Invasion; Watch the best goal of all-time
- Tevez and Mancini close to blows; Liverpool Red Sox at 100-1
- Kop call for King Kenny; Beckham on target
- Carlos Salcido is in for a roasting; Bye bye Beckham?
- Holtby wants to dump Germany for England; Arsenal in the dark
- Beckham serves hooker Irma Nici with writ; Shot Togo keeper paid off
- Match of the Day finds a response; It's not great
- Beckham looks for huge payout from hooker; Drogba stadium to be unveiled
- Stephen Ireland's crib gets slammed; Schteeve McClaren is back
- Benitez berates Liverpool board; Houllier targets title with Villa
- Collymore beats up Match of the Day; Jack Wilshere plays TCFS