Finally some respite from Rooney fever (you don't want to catch it, trust us). Rafa Benitez stepped up yesterday and delivered the kind of nonsense Elevenses goes weak at the knees for.
"We have a saying in Spanish, which is 'White liquid in a bottle has to be milk'," the lunatic former Liverpool boss began.
"What does this mean? It means that, after 86 points and finishing second in the league, what changed?
"Well, the Americans went for a new MD and everything changed."
Elevenses can't help but think Rafa is forgetting the number of atrocious signings he made at Liverpool.
He took the cream from Liverpool's milk and splashed it provocatively all over Robbie Keane (£19m), Ryan Babel (£11.5m), Jermaine Pennant (£6.7m), Fernando Morientes (£5.5m), Andrea Dossena (£7m).we could go on.
The milk then soured, horribly. When Roy Hodgson took it out of the fridge it stank the whole of Anfield out. Nobody wants to drink it anymore - apart from King Kenny, and Elevenses is beginning to wonder if he's lost his sense of smell.
All of which, reminds us of this. Enjoy.