Whatever happens over a Premier League weekend you can guarantee they'll be a lot of tosh talked. Managers will moan at refereeing decisions, players will blindly defend their team-mates and a smattering of both will conveniently claim they blinked at the vital moment.
But how on earth do we know if these highly-paid, fiercely loyal and blinkered chaps are actually telling the truth?
Perhaps the Premier League should introduce a lie detector test in press conferences? Can you imagine the hysterics if Arsene Wenger went through an entire 10-minute interview with the needle jumping as if there was a violent earthquake in full flow.
Maybe they could introduce the 'truth drug' used so effectively by Jack Bauer's CTU team in 24. Slip Wayne Rooney and Sir Alex Ferguson a dose of that at the moment and you can only imagine the colour of the air afterwards.
What about a 'truth for heroes' week, where every player and manager in the Premier League pledged to tell it like it is to benefit the troops abroad?
These measures may be some way off, but in the meantime Birmingham's Scott Dann has stumbled upon a temporary solution.
The defender was adjudged to have fouled Arsenal's Marouane Chamakh on Saturday, leading to the penalty which brought the Gunners level. But he was so adamant he didn't touch the Moroccan he swore on his girlfriend's life in the dressing room afterwards.
Now we all know about footballers and their love lives, but surely Dann wouldn't risk his beloved purely to protest a refereeing decision? Would he?
Elevenses assumes not. And based purely on his testimony we are happy to conclude Chamakh dived like Tom Daley to get Arsenal back in the game - until of course Chamakh comes out and ups the ante.
To do so he really needs to swear on a close family member or his religious figure of choice.
Then we'll revisit the debate.