Poor old Irma Nici. As if being a lying, scheming, greedy hooker wasn't bad enough, now she's got to conjure up a mere 16 million quid out of thin air.
Last night Mr Beckham's SAS entourage finally managed to track her down and serve her with a nine-page writ, claiming the equivalent of Golden Balls' loose change in damages.
Luckily for the Bosnian call girl, US magazine In Touch, German publisher Bauer and editor Michelle Lee are all named in the document, meaning she might get away with only having to pay a few million.
She better get back to 'work' straight away.
In other news, the Togo goalkeeper who was shot at the African Cup of Nations has been awarded the grand sum of $25,000.
Despite still unable to work after eight months, Kodjovi Obilale was given the cash - enough to pay just one month of his seven months of medical bills - by the geniuses at FIFA.
A truly generous gesture from $1 million-a-year-man Sepp Blatter.