Poor old David Beckham. As if rupturing his achilles and seeing England get humiliated at the World Cup wasn't enough, now a Bosnian slapper has come out of the woodwork claiming he bedded her in a New York hotel.
According to Irma Nici, Becks paid her £3,200 a romp, while also shelling out over a grand to see her get it on with one of her pals.
Beckham is set to issue her with a writ for £5million, claiming damages to his public and professional profile.
What Elevenses can't understand is why Golden Balls was the one opening his wallet. Surely it should've been Miss Nici that had to pay for the privilege of spending some quality time with our Dave, the most beautiful man to ever grace a football pitch.
And if that was the case, you can bet she wouldn't be able to afford him.
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Despite still being in the prime of his career, Chelsea striker Didier Drogba looks set to have one of the ultimate footballing honours bestowed upon him.
Levallois SC, who the Ivorian played for at youth level for a season back in the nineties, will name their new name ground after Mr Drogba.
Rumours that it will be called 'I go down far too easily stadium' remain unconfirmed.