ITV World Cup pundit Robbie Earle has been fired, after it emerged tournament tickets gifted to the ex-Wimbledon FC midfielder had fallen into the hands of a group of young women working for a beer manufacturer.
Meanwhile, FIFA spokesperson Nicolas Maingot confirmed that officials questioned the women about "clear ambush marketing" and that Fifa was investigating "all available legal remedies" against the brewery.
I can confirm that all of the women involved were wearing minidresses (not that they were worth getting sacked for).
TIGER BACKS ROBERT GREEN
Robert Green has found an unlikely ally as the eyes of the football world bore away at his confidence.
World number one, and transgressor supreme, Tiger Woods has voiced his encouragement for the under-fire England goalkeeper: "I hope he gets a chance to play and is not finished," said Woods, who could have been talking about himself.
ENGLAND ARE SEWAGE
The whole of England's first team kit had to be re-washed after a sewage pipe burst at the team hotel, covering the gear in a chocolate-coloured sludge.
The pipe ran from the toilets above the kit room at the Royal Bafokeng base, meaning the pure white shirts needed an extra spin cycle to get them back to normal.
UPSON HITS BACK AT BECKENBAUER
Matthew Upson has come to the defence of coach Fabio Capello, after German legend Franz Beckenbauer slammed England's style of play.
"It looked to me as if the English have gone backwards into the bad old days of kick and rush," said Der Kaiser on Monday.
However, central defender Upson was not perturbed by the German's strong words: "Whatever he thinks about our style of play is his opinion. If we are accused of kick and rush but win something, I don't think many people would complain."
ALL WHITES ON THE NIGHT
New Zealand earned their first ever point at a World Cup finals after Winston Reid's last-gasp equaliser earned them a point against Slovakia in this Group F game in Rustenburg.
In a dour encounter of little noteworthy action, Slovakia's Vladimir Weiss was the only player at the Royal Bafokeng Stadium to show any quality. Stanislav Steslak's right-wing cross in the 50th minute evaded the All Whites defenders, for Lille's Robert Vittek to nod home from inside the box.
However, Reid's late goal ensured the Slovaks will have to wait for their first Finals win as an independent country.
IT'S KOREA DPR!!!
A reporter who referred to coach Kim Jong-hun's nation as 'North Korea' rather than the country's official name of the Democratic Republic of Korea at a pre-match press conference on Monday was given short shrift.
"There's no such country named 'North Korea.’ Next question." One wonders what the response would have been, had South Korea been wrongly mentioned.