Too much gossip, not enough time - especially with so much preening to do before me and the girls head out to South Africa for the Wags World Cup.
Let's start with Man United, and the Daily Star report suggesting Rafael van der Vaart could be on his way to Old Trafford from Real Madrid.
The Dutch midfielder is being valued at £20 million and could be on his way out of the Bernabeu if Jose Mourinho turns up and brings in some old friends.
United are definitely on the hunt for midfielders, with Paul Scholes approaching his 60th birthday and Michael Carrick not in the best of form.
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Meanwhile, Liverpool are said to be eyeing up former United striker Giuseppe Rossi.
The Italian international, who plys his trade at Villarreal in La Liga, is being tipped as a possible partner for Fernando Torres (if he stays around that is - don't believe a word of what his agent says).
A bit of Wags news for you - looks like Cheryl has filed for divorce and has no interest in taking any of Ashley's dirty cash. Nice one Chezza. Well played.
Finally, the Steven Gerrard to Real Madrid rumours are getting stronger by the day.
Mourinho loves a bit of Stevie Gee, and that deal looks like a goer to me.
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