Barry the Pro - David Moyes would have battered Mancini
Published: 25 Mar 2010 - 07:10:00
Forget the football, the most compelling action last night was the battle of be-scarfed Italian and gnarled, battle-hardened Scot on the touchline at Eastlands.
Roberto Mancini was bang up for a ruck, you could see it in his wild Italian eyes. He wanted to throw that beautiful mane around and unleash his immaculate leather shoes all over David Moyes' weathered face.
There's something strangely life-affirming about a well-dressed man who's mad for a fight. Mancini's expensive coat and fitted trousers screamed elegance, confidence and control, but he lost all three when Moyes held the ball to delay a City throw-in.
Martin Scorcese would kill for a scene like that.
Naturally the wiley Scot played dumb, claiming he was just trying to make a substitution and that he actually sped up play with his brilliant catch - as if Eastlands was a remote park pitch where the ball can run for miles, or dribble into a distant lake.
Like all good football posturing, the fight itself never happened. Nobody got gouged, head-butted, or caught with a haymaker and Mancini even apologised afterwards for his reaction.
Hasn't he learnt anything about management in the Premier League?
Had it kicked off, there was surely only one result. Moyes would have battered Mancini and offered out the entire crowd afterwards. The man's from Glasgow for goodness sake, they raise them on raw meat, sour milk and two-footed tackles in that part of the world.
But the near ruck got me and the boys thinking. What other manager scraps would make good viewing? Moyes v Sam Allardyce would be brutal. And how about Steve Bruce v Mick McCarthy for an ugly brawl? Harry v Fergie would be really dirty. Your suggestions please.
As for Mancini and his blue and white scarf, maybe it's time to don a creased tracksuit, get that hair cut and start screaming blue murder at his players...before it's too late.
- - -
Nag's Head creamed the King's Arms 8-3 on Sunday, courtesy of a double hat-trick from Micky 'Mother Cow' Barnes.
He got the nickname on account of his baby calves.
READ BARRY THE PRO EXCLUSIVELY AT FOOTBALL.CO.UK EVERY THURSDAY
- FOOTBALL.CO.UK BLOGGER:barry the pro
- 'Bazza' lives, breathes and dies football every day of his life, before waking up the next morning to do it all over again. On the pitch his penchant for flowery flicks and tricks tends to frustrate his team-mates at Olympiacos Nag's Head FC, but all is forgiven when he shares his generous supply of male grooming products in the showers. BTP drinks lager and lime and has dedicated his life to scoring from the halfway line. Read him on Thursdays.
Previous Blog Posts
- World Cup fever brings out the chav in all of us
- The Capello Index revealed
- All football managers are bigots
- Do not board a plane with Franck Ribery
- Danny Rose may as well retire
- Typical Germans win football matches
- Who said Fabregas was a lightweight fairy
- David Moyes would have battered Mancini
- Bring on P Diddy at the Palace
- Darren Fletcher is the Scottish Zidane
- My England starting XI for the World Cup
- All hail Stoke City and their long-throw genius
- Ronaldinho could play into his 70s
- Arsene Wenger is the Fagin of football
- Professional footballers are filthy animals
- Introducing the revolutionary iRooney
- Sexy Arsenal are tiptoeing their way to the title
- Not even Gary Neville can save Liverpool now
- Beckham does exactly what it says on the tin
- Ten reasons to love Liverpool
- Englands easy route to World Cup glory
- Why Liverpool should join the SPL
- Cheat Thierry Henry is just like the rest of them
- Save the England full-back
- Why Rooney junior is the key to World Cup glory
- I thought United fans ate prawn sandwiches
- Southgate pays the penalty again
- Beckham the beard is ridiculous