It feels like the trash mags have been droning on about Rooney's bundle of joy for ages.
It's been at least six months, maybe longer. But for once, I reckon all the hype will be worth it. 'Roonior' could be the key to World Cup glory for England.
I know what you're thinking. What's Bazza on about? Has he gone all Whitney Houston on us? Is there a Delia Smith rant on the horizon? (youtube it people)
Hold your horses my old muccas, there is method behind my madness. Me and the boys were watching United-CSKA on Tuesday and when Rooney came on he looked like a man possessed. Anyhow, it got us thinking.
How many times have we have seen players doing that baby cradle celebration after a goal? It's quite a lot, I'm pretty sure of it.
From what I can remember, this trend started with Bebeto in the quarter-final of the 1994 World Cup. Brazil beat Holland 3-2 in absolute belter, and when Bebeto notched a beauty he rolled out the cradle in tribute to his new-born son. Romario pitched in too.
As celebrations go, it was way more classy than the Robbie Fowler 'coke-snort', and beats the boring Alan Shearer fist pump by a country mile.
What's more, it did wonders for the game's reputation. Just when you thought footballers were nothing more than a bunch of over-paid, over-hyped prima donnas, out comes the baby celebration. Mums all over the world suddenly fell in the love with football. 'Football has a heart', they cried as one.
The cradle celebration caught on like wildfire. Everything you looked jumped-up, millionaire ball-kickers were forgetting about their sports cars and celebrating the gift of life. It was beautiful.
But if you looked closely there was a pattern in there. It turns out having a baby helps a player find the onion bag. How else do you explain it?
So.if Rooney can just bottle his feeling until next summer, then the odds are he'll score a hatful in South Africa and we'll bag the big one.
In case you're wondering, our game against King's Arms Juventus was called off on Sunday. Turns out eight of their players got swine flu. Makes you sick!
Much love, Bazza
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