Barry the Pro - Beckham the beard is ridiculous
Published: 15 Oct 2009 - 09:53:34
You gotta love Becks. The man's an England legend and the best thing that's happened to football since Gazza.
But seriously Goldenballs, what an earth is that ridiculous beard all about?
Becks rocked up at Wembley last night looking like an extra from one of them BBC costume dramas. Me and the boys couldn't believe it. Was he having a laugh? Is Becks on a sponsored 'grow a stupid beard for charity' mission? Is he trying to look like that Joaquin Phoenix bloke who went mental?
There are beards. And there are beards. And that one aint doing nothing for the image of English football. How are we expected to win the World Cup with a beard like that sitting on the bench? It's like some kind of furry bat broke into the England dressing room and latched onto Beckham's throat.
I'm not saying all beards are bad. Jesus had one and he did alright. And what about Georgey Best, it clearly didn't do him any harm with the ladies. Ricky Villa is another one that springs to mind. But at least they had proper beards, not throat-choking carpets.
To be fair, Becks only went and came on and played a blinder. But just think how well he would have played without the beard?
As for Crouchy, he just can't stop scoring can he? They keep going on about whether there's room on the plane for him, but surely planes these days can accommodate a tall bloke? If not, they'll have to sit him next to SWP. By my calculations, 1.5 + 0.5 = Two blokes.
Just to fill you in, we won 3-0 on Sunday. It was 'comprehensive', or at least that's what Douggy Horner said afterwards.
They call Douggy 'The Professor' because he got three As in his A-Levels, but he still aint clever enough to avoid getting caught offside a hundred times a game.
If case you're wondering, yes- I did get on the scoresheet. I could tell you it was curling free-kick from 25 yards, but that would be a lie. It was a spawny one, probably an OG to be honest, but I'm claiming it and they all count don't they. At least I didn't have a stupid beard on.
- Much Love, Bazza
YOU CAN READ BARRY THE PRO EVERY THURSDAY EXCLUSIVELY AT FOOTBALL.CO.UK
- FOOTBALL.CO.UK BLOGGER:barry the pro
- 'Bazza' lives, breathes and dies football every day of his life, before waking up the next morning to do it all over again. On the pitch his penchant for flowery flicks and tricks tends to frustrate his team-mates at Olympiacos Nag's Head FC, but all is forgiven when he shares his generous supply of male grooming products in the showers. BTP drinks lager and lime and has dedicated his life to scoring from the halfway line. Read him on Thursdays.
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- Beckham does exactly what it says on the tin
- Ten reasons to love Liverpool
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- Save the England full-back
- Why Rooney junior is the key to World Cup glory
- I thought United fans ate prawn sandwiches
- Southgate pays the penalty again
- Beckham the beard is ridiculous