Back to Back view from Downunder
Okay so the buzz talk of the week is back-to-back! I’m sorry but whenever the phrase back to back is used; well I straight away slide back to the 70’s and ABBA girls. Yes you remember it too. They are singing Money, Money, Money standing Cheek to Cheek . Not the Cheeks on their faces mind you. Dressed in Blue Satin Jump suits, Swedish breasts heaving like two puppies trying to escape a sack. So I have understandably struggled over the last few days to come to terms with the importance of this forthcoming fixture against the mighty potters. But now as the hour comes closer and the visage of Agnetha and Anni-frid fades the bringing Mr Pulis down to size becomes very important. Doing so will prove to our boys that they should really be where Stoke are and Stoke should be where we are. Let’s forget that we didn’t get Pennant back to St Andrews and Stoke managed to lure him to Stoke on Trent! Or that we let a Villa Player escape the Holte End and not end up at St Andrews. Carew and Pennant would have made very handy additions to our squad. Instead we will be defending madly against them at the weekend. When it comes to tactics I have been advised strongly that I should really stick to tic-tac’s. But I along with anyone who has been through the St Andrews turnstiles; well I have an over inflated self-opinion of my tactics. So here’s my orange tictac worth. My look at the over performing Stoke sees them as not the tallest defence in the league. So here’s my plan of attack. Down at the training ground let’s build a basketball hoop 8 foot off the ground and above the penalty spot. Turn it vertical making a nice big circle a bit too high off the ground for the stoke boys. If Ziggy Sneezes, he is 9 foot high.. Now give Larrson and Bentley a couple of days just kicking balls from the left and right touchline through the hoop. At the same time lets persuade Ziggy that we want him to learn how to head the ball. At the moment it seems to hit him in the face. Let’s also persuade him that him heading is not cheating just because he is taller than everybody else. Then we just need two of the multitude running either side of Ziggy to stick the ball in the net when he nods it down. Bowyer, Gardner, Phillips, Jerome and if we can get him through the airport Martins would all love that kind of service. And If Carew and Pennant start linking we are going to need a few goals. My plan of Defence is Clone Stephen Carr 3 times. Or get Ridgewell to blow Carew a kiss. And besides that would you like a tictac? Now I’m going to see if I can pre-set the recorder thingy-me-bob to tape or hard wire the game to the set top boxy thing. Sheesh when did technology pass me by! Plus there’s an ABBA special on Tuesday that I want to record/tape/download whatever….
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