Source: Daily_Mail
DES KELLY: Land of hope and glory? England won't win World Cup, so just enjoy
England are not going to win the World Cup. They might. They could. [LNB]There is a slight chance it may happen, but the laws of probability and plain common sense suggest they will not. [LNB]If we could collectively embrace the idea that we are likely to fall short, the tournament would be an infinitely more enjoyable event for us all. [LNB] Unashamed delight: England's 1966 World Cup victory lifted expectation[LNB]Instead, the flags will wave more furiously and inane talk radio phone-ins will be bombarded with additional pleas to 'get behind the lads' from the kind of deep thinkers who climb out of their white van to punch car windows at traffic lights. [LNB]Comedian John Cleese summed up the general dilemma rather well in the film Clockwise. [LNB] More from Des Kelly... Des Kelly: Let's pray a shoot-out is 'no choke' for Capello28/05/10 Des Kelly: Is wheelchair basketball for victims? These guys are the wheel deal!23/05/10 Des Kelly: Tragic sight of Hurricane Higgins that's blown itself out21/05/10 DES KELLY: We love Joe Cole... especially now he is free!14/05/10 RIO FERDINAND: I've beaten injury jinx and I'm ready to lead England13/05/10 Des Kelly: Harry Redknapp's Spurs magic puts ball in Daniel Levy's court07/05/10 Des Kelly: Goodbye, good riddance! Rafa must leave Liverpool now03/05/10 Des Kelly: If Torres is to stay, the Kop must be united for Chelsea clash30/04/10 VIEW FULL ARCHIVE 'It's not the despair - I can take the despair,' he said. 'It's the hope I can't stand!' [LNB]Hope is the supporter's curse. It's what drives fans mad. And it explains why the English have been giving the overheated, broken-down jalopy of our national game a damn good thrashing with a tree branch for the past 44 years. [LNB]The 1968 book The Football Man, by scriptwriter and journalist Arthur Hopcraft, tried to explore why the sport has such a unique hold on popular emotions. [LNB]'The point about football in Britain is that it is not just a sport people take to, like cricket or tennis,' he said. [LNB]'It is built into the urban psyche - it is a common experience. It is not a phenomenon. It is an everyday matter. There is more eccentricity in deliberately disregarding it than in devoting a life to it.' [LNB]Football is in the nation's blood, like it or not. That is why grown men who are unable to recall their partner's birthday or the names of their godchildren can recite the 1977 FA Cup-winning side without a moment's hesitation and discuss how Albiston performed at right back in such detail you'd think the game had just finished. [LNB](Stepney, Nicholl, Albiston, McIlroy, B Greenhoff, Buchan, Coppell, J Greenhoff, Pearson, Macari, Hill, sub McCreery, 81 mins - since you ask. And someone, somewhere will be screaming, 'Albiston was a LEFT BACK, you idiot!', thereby proving my point.) [LNB]MY WORLD CUP PREDICTIONS ENGLAND - Quarter-final[LNB]SEMI-FINALS - Brazil, Spain, Argentina and Germany.[LNB]WINNER - Brazil[LNB]We are agreed, then, that 'sensible' is not the natural mindset when it comes to football. Whenever the national side fails, it is not just a game that has been lost, it is viewed as somehow indicative of a wider malaise in schooling, organisation or general attitudes.[LNB]Just think. Right now, billions are being cut from the economy, thousands are losing their jobs, public services are being stripped and yet the outrage barely extends beyond an involuntary groan whenever Robert Peston's head pops up on the Six O'Clock News and an occasional tut at the bus stop. In the face of calamity, stoicism is the English default response. [LNB]But if and when the team are dumped out of the World Cup, people will sob in the streets, tear the shirts off their backs and the nation will embark on a week of national mourning, heralded by the sound of smashed shop windows and wails from the alarms of upturned vehicles across most city centres. [LNB] Start as you mean to go on: Rio Ferdinand's injury blow is a sign of things to come for England, who should at least reach the last eight[LNB]Any individual who has the misfortune to find themselves implicated in this 'disaster' by being sent off or making the wrong refereeing call, for instance, can expect death threats and effigies dangling from lampposts. [LNB]Should England really be surprised by any failure this time? The team do not possess an outstanding goalkeeper, there is a dearth of quality beyond the first-choice back four, as Rio Ferdinand's exit demonstrates; the midfield is built around Gareth Barry, who is nursing an ankle injury, and woe betide England if Wayne Rooney stubs a toe before next weekend. [LNB]But an extraordinary number of people still look at the team and think: 'They could do it.' So why do the English torture themselves? [LNB]Hopcraft's book has a reminder: 'Except in the celebrations that greeted the end of the Second World War, I have never seen England look as unashamedly delighted by life as it did during the World Cup in 1966.' [LNB]That is the single moment that would make all the suffering worthwhile, the moment when an entire country could be unashamedly delighted with life, just for a while. [LNB]No, no, forget it, it won't happen.[LNB] Fab's exiles can forget woes in LA I'm in Los Angeles, the city where England footballers come to forget, where broken World Cup dreams are quietly laid to rest. [LNB]That is why Wayne Bridge plans to spend a summer of self-imposed exile here, believing he is unlikely to encounter the sight of John Terry's mug grinning at him from a television set. [LNB]Sunderland striker Darren Bent is also in LA this weekend, taking advantage of the sudden gap in his diary created by Fabio Capello's decision to cut him from the squad for South Africa. [LNB]England's outcasts have chosen wisely. The World Cup is just an afterthought in La-La-land. [LNB] Hide out: You find Wayne Bridge in South Africa - or LA, where footballers can stroll anonymously away from the spotlight[LNB]Back home, the country is working itself into a frenzy before the first match against the USA, but America itself is gripped by an entirely different sporting phenomenon - the NBA finals between the LA Lakers and Boston Celtics. [LNB]It's basketball's equivalent of the Manchester United v Liverpool showdown, as two bitter rivals fight for supremacy. But the NBA blanket coverage only makes the World Cup more conspicuous by its absence. [LNB]On Thursday, USA Today carried precisely nothing, not one single word, on the impending World Cup finals. The Los Angeles Times printed a measly 19 words on England and 20 on the Chilean squad. [LNB]There is genuinely only one show in Tinseltown right now, which is just as well as most of Hollywood is skipping work to be here. Jack Nicholson was in his favourite courtside seat; Leonardo Di Caprio had a baseball cap pulled down over his face; Dustin Hoffman played up to the cameras by kissing a man in the stands and the showbiz turnout was on a par with Oscars night. [LNB] Star show: NBA's biggest clash - LA Lakers v Boston Celtics - attracts Hollywood's A-list celebrities, like Jack Nicholson (below), at the Staples Centre[LNB] Safe to say then that Bridge and Bent can consider themselves truly anonymous in this kind of company. LA is a good place to hide for footballers. [LNB]First blood in the game itself went to the Lakers in the best-of-seven-game series. They dominated the Celtics, opening up an unassailable 20-point lead by the end of the third quarter and running out 102-89 victors. [LNB]Unless the Celtics improve dramatically, the Lakers will arrive at London's O2 Arena in October as champions. And if Theo Walcott wants to escape the World Cup too, the NBA finals are live on ESPN.[LNB] Anfield may not be such a smart move, MartinMartin O'Neill deserves a realistic crack at the Premier League title and the Champions League for performing relative miracles pretty much everywhere he has worked. [LNB]The bright, likeable Irishman has already proved he can build teams within budget constraints, trade wisely on the transfer market and encourage young talent. [LNB]But, having finished sixth three seasons in a row at Aston Villa, it is clear he has taken the club as far as they can go without the serious injection of cash required to keep pace with Tottenham and Manchester City. [LNB]Not so smart: O'Neill would be better off staying at Aston Villa [LNB]And so Liverpool beckons. It certainly sounds like an attractive proposition. Liverpool have the name, the history, the fan base and a couple of outstanding players. [LNB]But now they also have a reported £351million debt, warring owners looking for an unrealistic £800m before they go, a mediocre squad and those two outstanding players I previously mentioned are weighing up offers to move elsewhere. [LNB]O'Neill is a smart man. He has turned down 'bigger' opportunities before because he saw too many conflicts ahead. I can recall being at the press conference in the early Nineties where he turned down Nottingham Forest to stay at Wycombe. [LNB]Interesting man, I thought, even then. So he knows he will have to tread water at Anfield until Hicks and Gillett sell up and that's a messy scenario for any manager. [LNB]Fulham's Roy Hodgson would be prepared to take the risk. He is 62 and an opening like this might not come around again. [LNB]But O'Neill will have other job offers, possibly at the other end of the East Lancs Road one day. Now he will be weighing up the situation in the knowledge he cannot possibly make Liverpool any worse, against the stark reality that he might not have a chance to make them any better for some considerable time yet, either.[LNB] If you tune into the Soccer Aid benefit match on Sunday, feel free to make a donation to UNICEF, as it is a splendid charity that does an enormous amount of good in the world. [LNB]But don't fool yourself that all the participants are motivated by equally charitable reasons. As I've warned in previous years, many of those running around the pitch regard the night as nothing more than a damn good earner. [LNB]When you dig into your pockets during a recession, the celebrities on view are filling their boots. Zinedine Zidane and Luis Figo, for instance, may have flown to Old Trafford for a half-competitive kickabout inspired by the compassion in their hearts. [LNB] Sing when you're winning: Pop star Robbie Williams skippers an England XI at Old Trafford for SoccerAid on Sunday[LNB]Or they may have decided it is worth the trouble because they are on deals comparable to the £130,000 plus expenses that Diego Maradona trousered in the first 'charity' event. [LNB]Even bog standard C-list TV personalities can collect sums of £30,000 or so for prancing about, if past events are anything to go by. [LNB]The organisers say profits from the game go to charity and the production company meets the whopping fees on offer. But just imagine how much more profit there would be if everyone donated their time for free? [LNB]So when ITV run through the Soccer Aid team sheets, perhaps they could also tell us how much each player is being paid? After six years, it hasn't happened yet, but we live in hope that Soccer Aid will do the decent thing one day. [LNB] Oh no, Rio! Freak knee injury ends England captain Ferdinand's World CupCurse of the captain: Rio joins long list of skippers crocked at the World CupMARTIN SAMUEL: If Liverpool get this wrong, they are heading for oblivion [LNB]
