Source: Daily_Mail
Sportsmail's guide to the top 10 worst Frenchmen ever... and there's no Henry
Given Thierry Henry has gone straight to the top of the charts in the least popular Frenchman stakes in many people's minds - especially in Ireland - Sportsmail decided to dig deep into French history in a bid to find some rivals to his crown.[LNB]It soon became clear that the entente cordiale perished some time ago, long before monsieur Henry's 'main de Dieu', because we were awash with anti-French votes as soon as we asked for people to name them.[LNB]And that was without even mentioning soap-dodging, going on strike three days a week and taking snails off lettuce - just to eat the snails.[LNB]So, after sifting through the views of the good and the fair, Sportsmail unveils the definitive guide to worst Frenchmen ever - excluding Thierry Henry.[LNB]1 Marquis de SadeEighteenth-century pervert who believed anything went sexually, morally and spiritually and who managed to upset the Catholic church as well. Sadism derives from his name as he believed in putting his partners through agony in pursuit of ecstasy. No wonder he was committed to a lunatic asylum...[LNB] Foul-smelling pervert: The Marquis de Sade [LNB]2 Napoleon BonaparteLittle-man syndrome suffering, war-mongering tyrant, believed to be an anti-Christ by many scholars, who helped rip Europe apart in the 18th and 19th centuries. Famous for being little over 5ft tall, his wife Josephine and a failed attack on Russia when his army froze to death, there is no truth in the rumour that his good lady shouted: 'Don't get blown apart Bonaparte' every time he left for a campaign.[LNB] Little and nasty: Napoleon Bonaparte, an early French prototype of Dennis Wise [LNB]3 Jean Marie le PenFounder of the French National Party, Le Pen hates not only immigrants but same-sex marriage and the rest of Europe while advocating the death penalty. Stood as French President five times and was second in 2002 - albeit with his opponent Jacques Chirac getting 82 per cent of the vote.[LNB] Full of sound and fury yet signifying nothing: Jean Marie Le Pen[LNB]4 Michel PlatiniEnglish-hating UEFA president whom we all loved in 1982 when France lost to Germany at the World Cup. Wants to change football so English clubs no longer dominate the Champions League - then seeded the World Cup play-off draw so the best teams would get through. And three of the four duly did - one of whom was the French handball team.[LNB] ...and England will have just one Champions League slot from 2011 and it will always go to a League two team: Michel Platini boosts his ratings in mainland Europe [LNB]5 Mathieu Bastareaud French rugby union centre who caused a storm this summer by pretending he had been attacked by racists in New Zealand while on tour with the national team in a bid to cover up the injuries he had sustained in his room while drunk. The French Government actually apologised to their New Zealand counterparts before matters got out of hand. [LNB] Not beaten up but drunk: Mathieu Bastareaud[LNB]6 Rene Descartes, Albert Camus, Jean-Paul Sartre French philosophers and writers whose existensial and sombre views have ruined many a good French A Level literature class - and whose eternal popularity means they will do so for a good many years to come.[LNB] Grey: Jean-Paul Sartre[LNB]Gris: Albert Camus[LNB]Bleak: Descartes[LNB] 7 Jean-Michel Jarre Electro-pop and synth king, known just as much for his light shows as for his tepid music that can now be heard in a lift near you. Oxygene? No thanks, I'd rather suffocate...[LNB] Looking for the mute button? Will Jean-Michel Jarre do the decent thing?[LNB]8 Marcel MarceauMade mime popular if that's possible. With his white face and stripey top, Marceau pretended he was doing many things, usually behind an imaginary window that would never open. Made Jean-Michel Jarre look interesting. Almost.[LNB] Acting without words: Marcel Marceau made a career of pretending to be behind glass[LNB]9 Louis XIVLe Roi Soleil ruled France for an incredible 72 years back in the 17th and 18th centuries after acceding to the throne at the age of four - the longest reign of any European monarch. Louis XIV makes the list because he bathed just once a month and his daily 'wash' was to moisten the tips of his fingers with a greasy cloth while selected 'lucky' coutriers watched. Good job that nowadays there is top quality stuff like X-Factor, Celebrity and Hole in the Wall to keep us entertained...[LNB] No oil painting: Louis XIV[LNB]10 Arthur Bostrom (plays French policeman in 'Allo 'Allo) Listen, I shall say this only once. Technically the worst Frenchman of all because he played the English-agent 'Good Moaning' gendarme officer Crabtree in the BBC comedy. The joke was a funny for a couple of series but this sitcom lasted ten years and the war itself just six. Like all Englishmen couldn't speak French and phrases like: 'You are holding in your hind a smoking goon' wore thin by the end.[LNB] Armed with a trinchon: Officer Crabtree[LNB] Republic of Ireland boss Giovanni Trapattoni demands FIFA to act after referee Martin Hansson allows Thierry Henry handball goal to stand Republic of Ireland call for France replay after Henry's handball scandalHand of God II: Henry confesses he cheated Ireland out of World Cup VIDEO: Henry joins Diego, Messi and more in the handball hall of shameHand of the devil: Thierry Henry slated by French media for inglorious goalVIRALS: Thierry Henry's cheating hand suffers at the hands of Internet jokers [LNB][LNB] Explore more:People:JACQUES CHIRAC, Jean-Marie Le Pen, Thierry Henry, Jean-Paul Sartre, Mathieu Bastareaud, Albert CamusPlaces:Ireland, New Zealand, United Kingdom, Russia, France, Germany, EuropeOrganisations:Catholic Church
