Source: Daily_Mail
It's Gerrard, Torres, Rooney and Cech - but not as we know it...
We've all done it - got to the game, looked at the programme thenspilled a hot drink on our lap because we noticed noticed that one of theopposition must be really good - because he sounds like a Premier League player.[LNB]The fear usually lasts right up the moment when the soundalike takesa divot when he punts the ball more than five yards or balloons asix-yard open goal gift into the Thames - when he's playing in Cardiff.[LNB] Sibling rivalry: £22m man Joleon Lescott (right) and, er, Bristol Rovers' Aaron Lescott[LNB][LNB]The real Zola: Gianfranco, that is[LNB]Thenthe natural order is restored and you can relax, knowing your braveboys really do have a chance because their 'star man' is in reality aman of straw with no more right to be on the pitch than you - or thatthe only Brazilian thing about him is the fact that he's nuts.[LNB]He's not Robinho's brother after all or a cousin of Thierry Henry -he's just Magno Vieira a footballing journeyman of the lower leagues.You get the picture.[LNB]But wouldn't it be great if all the lesser-known namesakes got together for a day and took on their highly-paid brethren? [LNB]The programme editor could be Craig Shakespeare and think how confused he'd get doing the pen pix.[LNB]Nomore confused than you will be once you've taken in Sportsmail'sfantasy match - the Hot-Shots against the Wot-Nots both teams managed,of course, by Gianfranco Zola and Calvin Zola respectively.[LNB]If you want to hazard a guess at what the outcome of this dream clash would be, let us know in the comments box below.[LNB] WE'VE GOT WHO ON THE TEAM SHEET? Daniel Ireland(Coventry) Marek Cech(West Brom)Paul Downing(West Brom)Patrick McCarthy(Crystal Palace)Anthony Gerrard(Cardiff City) Anderson De Silva(Barnsley)Sergio Torres(Lincoln)Mark Bentley(Gillingham)Luke Rooney(Gillingham) [LNB] Craig Beattie(Swansea)Ed Upson(Ipswich Town)OH BROTHER! THESE ARE THE SUBS...[LNB]Aaron Lescott (Bristol R)[LNB]Kelvin Etuhu (Cardiff)[LNB]Bradley Wright-Phillips (Plymouth)[LNB]Paul Terry (Yeovil)[LNB]Stephen Jagielka (Telford)[LNB] And this is who they're up against...Petr Cech (Chelsea), Matthew Upson (West Ham), Stewart Downing (Aston Villa), David Bentley (Tottenham Hotspur), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), Stephen Ireland (Manchester City), Benni McCarthy (Blackburn Rovers), Eduardo da Silva (Arsenal), Wayne Rooney (Manchester United), James Beattie (Stoke City), Fernando Torres (Liverpool).[LNB] Do you want a piece of Jamie Carragher, a slice of Frankie Dettori or spaghetti a la Andretti? Sportsmail's guide to sporting food tributes PICTURE SPECIAL: Sportsmail looks at the best and worst beards in the history of football Fat-asy football league: As Sol Campbell quits Notts County, Sportsmail puts two teams of tubbies against each other in a winner takes all (the food) clashBeckham v Fergie, Keane v McCarthy, Ghaly v Jol, Mido v Shehata and Anichebe v Moyes - Sportsmail's top five very public player/manager falloutsVIDEO SPECIAL: Sportsmail's top five international goalkeeping howlers[LNB] [LNB] Explore more:People:Benni McCarthy, Joleon Lescott, Stewart Downing, Steven Gerrard, Matthew Upson, James Beattie, Wayne Rooney, FERNANDO TORRES, Gianfranco Zola, Thierry Henry, David Bentley, RobinhoPlaces:Bristol, LiverpoolOrganisations:Football League
