DES KELLY: Silence is golden? It depends on who is doing the talking...

14 December 2009 01:41
The idea that the dressing room is some hermetically sealed havenwhere managers can fight, hurl boots and butt employees, while clothedor naked, without fear of being exposed is a complete fallacy.[LNB]Leaving aside the obvious double entendres in that opening sentence,let us deal with the central issue in a week when two behind-the-scenesfeuds became very public indeed.[LNB]First, Stoke manager Tony Pulis is said to have butted striker JamesBeattie after emerging from the shower, accidentally dropping his towelin the ensuing melee.[LNB]Apologies for the detail here, but I don't want to be the only onewatching Pulis prowling the touchline against Wigan on Saturday plagued bythat disturbing mental image. Now you can share in it, too.[LNB] Stoke fires: Pulis (left) and Beattie clashed[LNB]Over at Queens Park Rangers, Jim Magilton allegedly had a similar high-speed tete-a-tete with sulking player Akos Buzsaky.[LNB]When asked about the clash in the press conference after the match,Magilton said it was something that 'would be kept in-house'. He wasoblivious to the fact that the aggrieved Hungarian was stomping up anddown outside the window and could not have been advertising hisunhappiness any more clearly if he had been wearing a sandwich board.[LNB]Magilton is now facing an internal investigation, which sounds likesome rather painful procedure at Customs, and the unedifying prospectof losing his job. The player is discussing 'legal action' and beingtaken seriously. And all of this would be a shock at any club otherthan the laughable circus that QPR has become under Flavio Briatore andCo.[LNB] Under investigation: Magilton[LNB]But the bulk of the complaints have not focused on the incidentsthemselves or any perceived injustices, but mainly on the fact that wecame to hear about these scuffles in the first place.[LNB]A succession of managers and ex-players rushed into print to trotout that lazy old clich?#8216;what goes on in the dressing room should stayin the dressing room' as if it was an immutable law.[LNB]   More from Des Kelly... Des Kelly: No pleasure in hunting a wounded Tiger Woods04/12/09 DES KELLY: Why Stoke ride high in a league of happiness27/11/09 DES KELLY: Dishonest Henry drives us down a road of cameras20/11/09 DES KELLY: Hounding Sir Alex Ferguson is an awful Prospect13/11/09 DES KELLY: FACT! Rafa Benitez, here's what Kop is about06/11/09 DES KELLY: The cover-up was the real story, not Andre Agassi's drug use30/10/09 DES KELLY: Well done Rafa Benitez, you've got the Liverpool fans fooled23/10/09 DES KELLY: A fat lot of good it will do to ban Manchester United boss Fergie16/10/09 VIEW FULL ARCHIVE 'I have been a manager for 18 years and you have certain goldenrules,' said Pulis. 'One of them I stick to is that whatever happens inthe dressing room stays in the dressing room. The important thing isthe spirit, commitment and togetherness stays in that dressing room.And you don't get that by dropping things out.'[LNB]Best keep hold of your towel, then.[LNB]This concept that some kind of football omerta still exists is a quaint one, but it's nonsense.[LNB]Sportsmen, and footballers in particular, have been trampling overthat so-called principle for as long as I can remember and never moreso than now, in an age where even the most inane piece of tittle-tattleis broadcast globally.[LNB]They say a rumour without a leg to stand on will get around theworld some other way. And these days it's usually via the internet.[LNB]Then there's the ghosted autobiography, the newspaper column, thepersonal website, Twitter, the call to a friendly media contact,usually to cash in, occasionally to make mischief, or sometimes merelyto highlight what they believe to be an injustice.[LNB]Managers also break that code of confidence themselves, the two mostnotable figures in recent years being Glenn Hoddle and David O'Leary[LNB]But in the past few days, Bolton manager Gary Megson has complained about a clique of players undermining morale in his own dressing room, while at Manchester City, assistant manager Mark Bowen was happily discussing a bust-up in the ranks after the draw against Hull.[LNB]So everyone opens the door when it suits them. Because David Beckham had a smart publicist we know Sir Alex Ferguson hit him in the face with a boot; and because Roy Keane had a book to sell that Brian Clough once dared to punch him in the face; and Grimsby boss Brian Laws once broke a player's cheekbone with a plate of fried chicken wings because well, you'd need a heart of stone not to laugh at the idea that he literally 'battered' one of his players. I think 'Fowl Play' was the headline. If it wasn't, it should have been.[LNB]The so-called 'sanctity of the dressing room' has already been eroded in rugby league, where cameras film the half-time exchanges. And the moment is fast approaching when the press, radio and TV will be allowed inside football dressing rooms immediately after a match, just as they are in all major American sports.[LNB]ESPN's Disney cash will eventually see to that, although I suspect Ferguson will have retired by then. [LNB]In the meantime, the dressing room will have to get accustomed to the limelight. It's not going to go away.[LNB] Pity fans can't walk awayAccording to a statement issued by Portsmouth there is absolutely no financial crisis at the football club and the whole fuss is down to 'inaccurate media speculation'.[LNB]It reminds me of a scene from the film Naked Gun, where Lt Frank Drebin tells passers by to 'move along, nothing to see here' in front of an exploding fireworks factory.[LNB] Maintaining the pretense of authority: Drebin[LNB]With a debt of £60m, players going unpaid, a player auction set for January to meet a £17m downpayment deadline and a new clown in charge trying to take out loans secured against TV money he hasn't yet been given, Pompey are clearly a model of astute business management.[LNB]If the players go two weeks without wages they can walk out the door as free agents without any commitment whatsoever to Portsmouth. Sadly, the long-suffering fans don't have that option.[LNB] Young Arsenal player Theo Walcott has signed a deal to write a children's book. Interesting. Most footballers just call it an autobiography.[LNB] At the last count, Rafa Benitez appears to have announced: 'Liverpool's season starts here' on three separate occasions already during this miserable campaign. With that many false starts, surely he should be disqualified by now? And if Liverpool lose to Arsenal tomorrow, will the end start there? It's all very confusing.[LNB] Andrew Flintoff has turned his attention to the financial black hole in Dubai. 'I'm no expert in high finance,' he helpfully points out, 'but I can report that life in Dubai remains good,' promptly adding 'for those who enjoy an occasional drink, there's no ban on alcohol.' [LNB]So that's all right then. What's all the fuss about? Next week, Flintoff reveals Britain's banks are on the road to recovery, because the pub next to his NatWest is a bit busy during happy hour.[LNB] We shouldn't take flak for fearing crimeNow that South Africa's World Cup is mapped out there are plans to be made, flights booked, hotels reserved and flak jackets bought.[LNB]Flak jackets? Apparently so. The German team's private security advisor told the players to wear bulletproof vests whenever they step out of their team hotel, only to later disown his remarks after they provoked a political storm.[LNB]Overreaction or not, the fear is real. As I was researching this summer's venues online, I stumbled across the US Department of State's travel advisory for South Africa.[LNB]The dire warnings would lead anyone planning a trip to the 2010 tournament to abandon the idea unless they had pre-booked accommodation on an aircraft carrier and hired a tank to get around while daring to venture out on land.[LNB]The US Government says: 'Criminal activity, often violent, occurs routinely. Violent crimes such as armed robbery, carjacking, mugging and 'smash and grab' attacks on vehicles are regularly reported by visitors.[LNB]'Organised gangs target individuals at shopping centres and follow them back to their hotel where they are robbed, usually at gunpoint.[LNB]'Motorists are urged to be extremely cautious, crimes against property such as carjacking are often accompanied by violent acts, including murder South Africa also has the highest incidence of reported rape in the world armed robbery surrounding certain hotels travellers drugged commercial explosives on ATMs 500 bombings immediately take cover.'[LNB] A storm beckons? Durban's Moses Mabhida Stadium will host seven games next summer[LNB]On and on it goes.[LNB]There is no getting away from the fact that personal security is going to be a serious concern for fans travelling to this summer's tournament.[LNB]But equally there is an enormous political investment in Africa's inaugural World Cup being seen as an unqualified success and strenuous efforts are being made to discuss anything but crime right now.[LNB]Which is why Danny Jordaan, the chief executive of the 2010 organisation, took exception recently to very reasonable British Foreign Office warnings about the dangers of carjacking, even though around 15,000 incidents occur a year.[LNB]Of course it is true to say most fans in the tourist areas are likely to be safe. I've been to South Africa before and had a marvellous time with some extraordinarily friendly people, although it undeniably pays to have your wits about you. And it is a bit rich for 2010 officials to complain there is an undue emphasis on crime concerns when South Africans themselves feel the need to turn their homes into fortresses, complete with electric fences and private security guards.[LNB]At the Confederations Cup earlier this year there were 39 criminal incidents around the venues, which was considered a success. The British and Irish Lions tour was largely uneventful too, although a handful of fans were tracked from the airport and robbed. And there is hardly a peep of concern from the cricketers currently on tour.[LNB]But the 2010 World Cup numbers will be on a vastly different scale to these events and visitors will be scattered far and wide, meaning South Africa's policy of saturating distinct areas with large concentrations of police is going to be sorely tested.[LNB]Has the country been awarded this tournament too early? Will visitors spend their trip cooped up in hotels, looking at South Africa through a security cordon? Or will this World Cup be the most accessible, gritty and authentic tournament in recent years? Take a wild guess at the answer. Because that's what FIFA are doing.[LNB] [LNB]  Explore more:People:Andrew Flintoff, Rafa Benitez, Theo Walcott, Danny Jordaan, Roy Keane, Brian Clough, Gary Megson, James Beattie, Alex Ferguson, Glenn Hoddle, David Beckham, Brian LawsPlaces:Liverpool, Dubai, South Africa, Africa

Source: Daily_Mail