Bonjour Santa,
First of all I must say "Thank You". Your gift of silverware finally arrived halfway through this year, and most welcome it was, albeit somewhat later than expected, given that I'd written to you for several years running requesting something of that ilk! However, I can understand what with covering the whole of the globe, consuming copious amounts of sherry, and of course filling up on other alcohol laced offerings, it's entirely possible things would, could, will, and do go missing. The fact remains that I had unwavering faith in its imminent arrival throughout this time, although it should be said I had begun to refer to your head of postage as, "A bit of a Bendtner", as the years passed and he failed to deliver.
So.... about this year! I'm not a greedy man, Mr Claus, although my much vaunted war-chest might suggest otherwise. In truth I find myself in a position where I find it hard to make requests of you which I deem reasonable. My cup runneth over in terms of players in my view, and as such I am stumped for what to wish for. There are many who say I need a couple of world class defenders, and a defensive midfielder but,to me it's not a requirement. It's like a new phone. Why would I buy this year's model for a massive initial outlay, (not to mention ongoing costs), when last year's still functions well enough to get by with? Flamini and Arteta may lack the speed to deal with the very high end applications when attempting to run a Chelsea or a Real Madrid, but it's so rare those encounters happen that the extra outlay isn't justifiable. They can deal with the majority of things, are robust, and crash only occasionally.
Cotton Wool! That's it Santa! Cotton Wool! I know I know, it's Christmas and gifts traditionally consist of things which are wrapped, rather than the wrapping itself being used as a suitable gift, but I think it would be ideal for some of my more fragile assets. I recently purchased a German talisman but every time I try and put it out on display it breaks. In truth I suspect it's not designed for quite such a robust environment but, now that I have it, it seems senseless not to use it. Currently, of course, it's in for repairs, something which could perhaps be avoided in the future with skilful cotton wool deployment. I have a similarly delicate Welsh trinket which cost less but tends to sparkle more, which could also do with some padding. If you can find it within you to furnish me with cotton wool.. please..don't skimp on the volume. The aforementioned two are just the tip of the iceberg, but as I said earlier, I'm not greedy.
It would be nice if you could gift me Champions League football again next year. It's the only thing of fiscal value I really ask for. I've been good, having qualified for the latter stages again and I know.. i know.. you've already given me Monaco and I thank you for it, but Champions League is just that cherry on the little cake I allow myself to enjoy while at Arsenal. I am aware I never actually finish it, but it always feels so good, even if I only make it through the initial layers only to be overwhelmed by the powerful flavours making progression only a thing of fantasy.
Thank you once again for taking these things into consideration. if you could deliver Tottenham Europa league football again next year that would also be fantastic. I mean this to show my generosity in using my letter to gift something to others and the idea is in no way meant to impede my neighbours League progress with regular Thursday night games.
Yours forever a fan of your Red and White strip!
Arsene.
P.S. Santa, I nearly forgot. I still require a fully functioning Diaby! I don't know who your supplier is but you need to have a word with him. Each year I send him back broken and each year he returns, only to have either the same issue reoccur, or a new one crop up. It's becoming a race to see who is going to be too old to play with who, and it's doing neither of us any good.
Source: DSG
