There can hardly be a footballer in the country who has put his name to at least two autobiographies, even if they had very little to do with actually writing them.
We believe every footballer has at least one fiction book in them, though. To celebrate World Book Day, here are five who set their sights higher…
1. Steve Bruce
As well as being a football manager, legal expert and wedding crasher, former Manchester United defender Steve Bruce is also an accomplished writer. By which we mean he has accomplished the feat of writing. He’s written three murder mysteries called Striker!, Sweper! and Defender! – featuring a mysterious detective called Steve Barnes. Who could he possibly be based on? Even the book’s own publisher says the book is written in “simple language“, so don’t expect Shakespeare.
Sample Amazon review: “This is a vexing book. On the one hand it is one of the most poorly writen books I have ever read, yet it is hugely satisfying.”
2. Terry Venables
Perhaps there’s something in the make-up of football managers that makes them yearn to be crime writers – Terry Venables also had a go. He co-wrote a serious of books about the detective James Hazell with novelist Gordon Williams back in the 1970s. They were even turned into a TV show. How much Venables had to do with the writing of the books is unclear. They appeared under the joint pseudonym of PB Yuill – as in yuill not believe who wrote these books. They’re fondly remembered by their fans, though.
Sample Amazon review: “Sadly there are only three novels – but in my opinion they form a wonderful and highly enjoyable trilogy. If you like your thrillers fast paced with wise cracking one liners then these are for you.”
3. Frank Lampard
The Frankie’s Magic Football series has been a runaway success for celebrity Tory Lampard since the first book was published two years ago. They’re about a kid called Frankie who has a football. Can you guess what type of football? It’s a magic football! The good news for fans is he should have plenty of time to write more while sitting on the Manchester City bench. We particularly look forward to the book where Frankie is supposed to move to America but never actually turns up.
Sample Amazon review: “This was the best book ever hope you make like 10000 more books thanks for making this series super goal.”
4. Theo Walcott
If you thought Lampard had a monopoly on children’s fiction about football written by professional footballers, you’re wrong. His former England team-mate Theo Walcott got there first. He wrote four books, starting with T.J. and the Hat-Trick in 2010. TJ is a striker who looks like Theo Walcott, who desperately wants to be a striker. We’re all in favour of living out your dreams through fiction. He later went down the more traditional footballer route with his autobiography Theo: Growing Up Fast – published when he was 22.
Sample Amazon review: “This book is amazing. I love tj as I am a striker like him. There was nothing I disliked about this book. Also get well soon theo I saw your injury as I was watching the game.”
5. Jo Nesbo
Is this a cheat? This feels like a cheat. But the popular crime writer used to play top-level football in Norway, for Molde. He was a striker but tore his cruciate ligament and subsequently turned to writing. Most footballers probably would have just played Xbox and gone fishing.
Sample Amazon review: “I confess that I read this book twice, one right after the other. To get my head around the twists and turns in this plot, I suggest you do the same.”
Source: SNAPPA
